Distraction

by E.L. Pout

November 26, 2001

Fifteen phantom penpoints
All under my control
I move them deftly, swiftly smearing
ink upon a single slice of paper.

Sixteen sweatered titties
Distracting me so simply
from my fifteen phantom penpoints
Nothing worthwhile written, once again.

Quote of the Day

“Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy, and in total compliance with puritan mores. All others will be stoned to death, just as soon as they wake up.”

-Dan Franklin

Fortune 500 Cookie

You are the jovial type who would gladly eat shit and ask for more, which will serve you well in the coming year, what with the shovel fork you got for Christmas. But for the sake of Buddha, remember to pack a roll of Certs. Lucky numbers 33, 57, 89, 105.

Try again later.

How Gay is Our Dance Instructor?

1.	Flaming
2.	Scorching
3.	Richard Simmons Riding a Pink Giraffe
4.	Alphabetizes Trading Spaces Tape Collection
5.	Pretty Darn Gay

Shuns
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The Waistland
April be the month that's meaner Than a shot of carburetor cleaner Or an icy, uncooked wiener Said the raven: "Ned's a Whore". "Ain't my lookout," said the genie, in a voice so tiny, teeny Ned thought it a baby, beanie And burned down the... (10/29/01)

The Crab
"I'm only ingesting asbestos in jest," said the tapdancing monkey with blood on his vest; I told him that I didn't think it was funny. "Who says you know funny, you ignorant fuck?" he said with a sneer, and I urged him to suck my cock, because... (10/15/01)