08/7/26
The next last big thing
|  Shunsby E.L. Pout   November 12, 2001 Who has been flushing your worldly possessions?
Replacing your wardrobe with out-of-date fashions? Making your schnauzer do Nixon impressions? Squeezing your neighbors for seedy confessions? Coating your lips with pre-cancerious lesions? Showing you slides of infected abrasions? Accusing your mother of being a Russian? Filling your mind with intemperate passions? Splitting your food into practical rations? Loading your pickup with refugee Haitians? Mocking your cock in some lewd animations? Cutting your paycheck by raising inflation? Wrecking your travel with tropical depressions? Selling your free time as one-hour sessions? Telling your family about past transgressions? Tilling your tulips and planting impatiens? Shipping your panties to greedy Alsatians? Sorry, I'm busy with my own regressions. Milestones1853: The snorkel is invented, leading indirectly to the conception of commune reporter Lil Duncan several years later. STD specialists from the CDC would eventually send a robot back in time in an attempt to prevent this chain of events from occurring, but tragically this move caused the Short Circuit franchise of films in the 1980's instead.Now HiringMidwife Crisis. Not entirely sure what this is, but the guys thought it would be funny. So… Hmm. Uh… well, if you have experience delivering babies in a dramatic and dangerous fashion, then I suppose you should dust off your résumé. No freaks please.Top Amish Profanities
 The Waistland April be the month that's meaner Than a shot of carburetor cleaner Or an icy, uncooked wiener Said the raven: "Ned's a Whore". "Ain't my lookout," said the genie, in a voice so tiny, teeny Ned thought it a baby, beanie And burned down the... (10/29/01) The Crab "I'm only ingesting asbestos in jest," said the tapdancing monkey with blood on his vest; I told him that I didn't think it was funny. "Who says you know funny, you ignorant fuck?" he said with a sneer, and I urged him to suck my cock, because... (10/15/01) Victim There's a gray hole in my - shall we call it a soul? Is that what it is? A soul? There's a gray hole in my soul where you ripped out my - shall we call it a heart? Do souls have hearts? There's a gray hole in my soul where you ripped out my... (10/1/01)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.