in DAD'S basement

by paul windeMere

September 17, 2001

at night
A lone
i watch
HAPPY DAYS
whilst sleeping
lies dad
turn it DOWN
says dad
and bangs upon
the floor

sometimes
i wish i
was the FONZ
make believe
dad was
mr. C
he would give
fatherly
advice
instead of
calling me
shithead

i would
bring home
CHICKS
with all their
teeth
and dad would
not fart
and laugh
ho ho ho ho

today
did you
look for
a job?
no, dad
no no no
i'm finding
myself
you will
find my foot
in your ass
find
a job

dad
get off
the phone
i'm talking
to MARVIN
dad
i can tell
you didn't
hang up
get off
the phone

dad
you asshole
i'm not on smack
or
the goofballs
quit going
in my room
i pay
no rent
except
my soul

Quote of the Day

“The good die first. Then, the not-so good. Then the ugly. Strike that, the ugly should die first. Can I start again? If there are any good left, don't kill them yet, we've still got some uglies over here.”

-Billiam Swordswart

Fortune 500 Cookie

The next time you give a dog as a gift, why don't you try poking some holes in the cellophane, ay handyman? Here's something to chew on: gum. Remember: you can't hurry love, but you can get your ass in motion when you're blocking the express lane, chunky. This week's lucky ducks: Donald, Daffy, Dontrelle, Fukka.

Try again later.

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Hairy Walnuts
I fed my cat some hairy walnuts My poor kitty doesn't like hairy walnuts I forced the cat to eat those nuts and then I watched him puke them up He ran away when he was done and hasn't come back yet I don't think he ever will that stupid cat ... (7/16/01)