![]() in DAD'S basementby paul windeMere ![]() ![]() September 17, 2001 at nightA lone i watch HAPPY DAYS whilst sleeping lies dad turn it DOWN says dad and bangs upon the floor sometimes i wish i was the FONZ make believe dad was mr. C he would give fatherly advice instead of calling me shithead i would bring home CHICKS with all their teeth and dad would not fart and laugh ho ho ho ho today did you look for a job? no, dad no no no i'm finding myself you will find my foot in your ass find a job dad get off the phone i'm talking to MARVIN dad i can tell you didn't hang up get off the phone dad you asshole i'm not on smack or the goofballs quit going in my room i pay no rent except my soul Quote of the Day“Any man who serves as his own lawyer has a fool for a client. Because think about it, stupid, why you gonna pay some guy who didn't even go to law school? That's just dumb. And how do you pay yourself, anyway? Take your money out of one pocket and put it in the other? Silly. Or maybe you've got to hire a neutral third party to take the money and then hand it back to you, like a lawyer or somebody. Shit, this is gettin' expensive.”-Dred Scott Drummond Fortune 500 CookieYou're simply the best, and that depresses us all. The next time you're on trial for murder, don't forget to mention that a Klondike bar was involved. And if you must ask for a lawyer who can get you off, at least try not to do it with that smarmy leer in your eye. Try chewing your food an odd number of times this week, like 6,372. This week's lucky injuries: hangnail, hangankle, ruptured spleen, stabitosis.Try again later. Top Reasons for Increased U.S. Ladder-Associated Deaths
![]() Hairy Walnuts I fed my cat some hairy walnuts My poor kitty doesn't like hairy walnuts I forced the cat to eat those nuts and then I watched him puke them up He ran away when he was done and hasn't come back yet I don't think he ever will that stupid cat ... (7/16/01) ![]() ![]() ![]() |