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12/13/25   
Kills Grandmas Dead

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Quote of the Day
“I cannot tell a lie—I like big butts. You other brothers can't deny. My anaconda don't want none, lest you have buns, hon.”

-George Wizzleswishington
Fortune 500 Cookie
Our apologies, but the guy doing your fortune was a complete fraud—hmph. You'd think we'd have seen that coming. This week, reconsider investing in those flame-retardant pajamas for the little ones. Definitely Burger King—definitely. Lucky dusts this week: Gold, saw, angel, and the stuff on grampa's skin.


Try again later.
Unlikeliest Candidates for New Pope
1.Joe Piscopo (Hereby known as Joe Piscopope)
2.Winner of three-man guitar contest between Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmsteen, and Joe Satriani
3.Real Pope, once impostor is out of the way
4.Pope's son Iggy Pope
5.Jimmy Cutler, winner of 2002 American Pope reality show contest, waiting all this time for his big chance