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03/13/26   
Frankly my dear, we don't fucking care

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Milestones
1982: Fred Connor born, grows up to lead successful rebellion against war of the machines in 2011. Or at least he would have been, if a Terminator hadn't successfully eliminated him from history, according to Research Editor Griswald Dreck.
Now Hiring
Good Terminator. Talking to Griswald Dreck has made us see the wisdom of employing a preventative Terminator security system, preferably a skilled Terminator robot who has been reprogrammed to protect commune staff members. No pay or retirement plans—yours is not to reason why, just to do and die.
Best Unreported News
1.President Bush Built from Japanese Parts
2.Dale Earnhardt Fans Waiting Like Fanatics for His Return
3.Lawrenceville, KS Shoney's Buffet Huge Fucking Rip-Off
4.RuPaul All Man Underneath Dress
5.Country of Chad Non-Existent, Just Some Joke by Guy Named Chad