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12/21/25   
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Quote of the Day
“Fight back, men! It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean!”

-Capt. William Thomas Turner of the Lusitania
Fortune 500 Cookie
Looks like your lawyers have kept those topless photos out of the magazine; that and the fact you're 89 years old. Tonight, conquer life's mystery: Find out what that Alpo tastes like. Today is great week to give the gift of peanut brittle. Shaved or unshaved? Your dogs will love you either way. Today's lucky charms: Pink hearts, blue moons, green clovers, virtually any of them.


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Top 5 commune Features This Week
1.Six College Courses for Retards and Sorority Girls
2.Tanks: Why Can't We Drive 'Em?
3.Uncle Macho's Pure Gristle Hamburgers
4.Music Piracy: Are You a Fucking Thief?
5.Critic's Corner: The Sailboat My Husband Painted