Milestones
1982: Fred Connor born, grows up to lead successful rebellion against war of the machines in 2011. Or at least he would have been, if a Terminator hadn't successfully eliminated him from history, according to Research Editor Griswald Dreck.Now Hiring
Good Terminator. Talking to Griswald Dreck has made us see the wisdom of employing a preventative Terminator security system, preferably a skilled Terminator robot who has been reprogrammed to protect commune staff members. No pay or retirement plans—yours is not to reason why, just to do and die.5 Worst Katrina-Related Headlines
| 1. | Everything Possible Done by President (Fox News) |
| 2. | Tabasco Shortage Reaches Drastic Proportions |
| 3. | Cancun Prepares for Huge Rise in Mardi Gras Reservations |
| 4. | Bubba Gump Still Missing in Disaster |
| 5. | Saints Season Ticket Holders Hit Hardest by Tragedy |
|