Milestones
1982: Fred Connor born, grows up to lead successful rebellion against war of the machines in 2011. Or at least he would have been, if a Terminator hadn't successfully eliminated him from history, according to Research Editor Griswald Dreck.Now Hiring
Good Terminator. Talking to Griswald Dreck has made us see the wisdom of employing a preventative Terminator security system, preferably a skilled Terminator robot who has been reprogrammed to protect commune staff members. No pay or retirement plans—yours is not to reason why, just to do and die.Best Unreported News
| 1. | President Bush Built from Japanese Parts |
| 2. | Dale Earnhardt Fans Waiting Like Fanatics for His Return |
| 3. | Lawrenceville, KS Shoney's Buffet Huge Fucking Rip-Off |
| 4. | RuPaul All Man Underneath Dress |
| 5. | Country of Chad Non-Existent, Just Some Joke by Guy Named Chad |
|