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04/10/26   
3 days since a work-related accident

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Quote of the Day
“Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes! Or, if they're wearing sunglasses, just aim for the balls. Cocky shits.”

-General Dicky Prescott
Fortune 500 Cookie
That noise outside your bushes? It's just me. Something important tomorrow, but I can't remember if it's "lottery" or "leprosy"… Don't forget to check under refrigerator; it's shrimp, that's what you're smelling. Lucky numbers 15 and Qwiddley-Two.


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1.Are You Reincarnated Disco Royalty?
2.Get Un-Ugly for Summer
3.Is Your Dog an Alcoholic?
4.Michael Jackson's Make-Up Secrets
5.Honesty: The Best Policy. Honestly.