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10/30/26   
Terrifyingly adequate

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Quote of the Day
“I got the blues so bad. Real bad. You know what I'm talkin' about? Uh-huh. No fun. Bluesy blues. Well, that's about all I got to say about that. Song's another four minutes long though. Soooo… Any of y'all from Cleveland?”

-Ugly Carmichael
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will get kicked in the balls for a good cause this week. Expect a telephone call from a long forgotten friend today—your split personality from Belgium. Lose the mustache, that "Hitler" look is so 1997. This week's stomach-pump jackpot: $20 in loose change, long-lost stash, grandma's favorite knitting needles, Nerds.


Try again later.
Least Heard Mobster Euphemisms for Murder
1.Treat this guy to a steel sundae
2.Make his shoes a lot heavier, more sinkable
3.Invalidate his parking
4.Go apeshit on this fuck
5.Fill him full of holes like a Dade County ballot (2000 only)