You need a newer browser.

03/9/26   
The Burning Coal of Wisdom Crammed Inside the Anus of Truth

         Archived Back Issues:




Quote of the Day
“Yawn and the world yawns with you. Fart and you fart alone.”

-Dr. Filbert
Fortune 500 Cookie
Stop taking it so personally when everyone tells you how ugly you are. At least you're getting noticed. That breakfast cereal you made out of Tic Tacs sure has helped your breath, but next week our crystal ball shows a diagnosis for cancer of the everything. They say dogs are a good judge of character, and even dogs don't like your screenplay. This week's lucky Tims: Tiny Tim, Spazzy Tim, Him Tim, Tim and Tim Again, Phantom Tim, Tim Saved in a Bottle.


Try again later.
Top 5 Ways Bush Could Raise Approval Rating
1.Replace Hugh Jackman in next X-Men sequel
2.Give out free abortion to pro-choicers on Roe v. Wade anniversary; for pro-lifers, kill convicted criminal
3.Be seen everywhere with new wheelchair-bound friend
4.Go on Leno, punch Tom Cruise right in sack
5.Win war on terrorism, declare war on disagreement next