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10/28/26   
Shit sandwich

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Milestones
1999: Rok Finger's highly offensive rendition of "White Christmas" marks the end of the commune's yearly Christmas parties, and the birth of the Parents Against Rok Finger Coalition (PARF).
Now Hiring
Rubik. Crazy puzzle-making hermit needed to devise a way to keep staff out of Red Bagel's mini-fridge. Knowledge of trap doors and spinning blades a plus.
Top 5 Issues for Next Supreme Court
1.Official legal definition of "fucked up"
2.Arrange long-awaited challenge of man versus beast
3.Discount a minimum of ten urban legends
4.Settle this Lindsey Lohan-Hilary Duff feud once and for all
5.Reverse hundreds of years of progress