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10/25/26   
Death never smelled so good

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Quote of the Day
“I never met a man I didn't like, want to kill.”

-Dill "California Angst" Wongers
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will fall in love with a new douche this week, a fact that unfortunately has nothing at all to do with feminine hygiene. Try to pay more attention to your figure: word on the street is you're upgrading from "pear-shaped" to "sack of shit-y." You will finally come to understand the phrase "fifteen men on a dead man's chest" this week, thanks to an unfortunate dogpile mishap. Your lucky perfumes: Colonic for Men, Goat's Dong, Eau Du Crapper.


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Best Sellers
1.The Bridges of Macon County, Georgia
Bobby Ray Poker
2.The Lord of the Tacky Pimp Rings
J.Z.Z.Z. Toolking
3.Mary Contrary, Are You on the Rag Today?
Dr. Soobst
4.Oprah's Book Club Can Eat Me
Jonathan Franzen
5.I Sure Miss the Cold War
Tom Clancy