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04/12/26   
Your secretest Santa

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Quote of the Day
“What joyous spring, what sylvan glade, alive with growth and life anew, springing forth in buds of nature's splendor, what miracle of- what, it's snowing? Again? FUUUUUCK. I'll be at the pub.”

-Roderick Youngfellow
Fortune 500 Cookie
You are so ugly, the mere sight of you makes small children give up on life. No twist to that, it just needed to be said. Instead of Band-Aids this week, use bacon. Everybody loves bacon. The only cure for breath like yours is the Hemmingway solution. This week's lucky haiku: Luke Luck licks dykes, Luke's dick sticks Mikes, Mike's wife knifes like OJ.


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Top 5 commune Features This Week
1.Test the Durability of Your Training Bra
2.Music Piracy: Are You a Fucking Thief?
3.Uncle Macho's Pure Gristle Hamburgers
4.A Preview of Elton John's Autobiography:
A Dick in the Wind
5.Critics' Corner: You Suck, My Battleship, a Review of U-571