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05/25/26   
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Quote of the Day
“A nation divided against itself, times three more nations, plus six more nations and an independent state, divided by two nations, is… shit. I always do this. I forgot to carry the remainder. Does anyone have a calculator I can borrow?”

-Abie Lincoln Hayes
Fortune 500 Cookie
Today is the day the son of a bitch finally dies. You know what would be good right about now? Chili con carne. Isn't it funny how the one time you forget to wear a condom is the one time you end up catching a seriously painful contagious disease? Lucky for you, the world can always abide one more asshole.


Try again later.
Top 5 Bush Second-Term Pledges
1.Encourage nations to work with us again, under threat of violence
2.Pay national deficit with Discover and Visa cards
3.Appeal to black constituents by finally selling off "Amos & Andy" videos
4.Build new wing of America so rich people can vacation more
5.Two, maybe even three more inaugurations