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11/30/25   
Not really trying since 2001

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Milestones
1812: Some kind of war of note happened, probably involving some big shot historical guys. People waved their dicks around and shouted, most likely.
Now Hiring
Bitchin' Ninja. Ass-kicking ninja needed for sword-swallowing, punching through solid rock, hiding underwater for days at a time, providing tactical superiority over other online news-magazines, cosmetics consultations, brick-laying, snowboarding out of airplanes, cooking delicious soufflés, cowering foes with a steely glare, and taxidermy. Mystical world-view a plus.
Top Box Office
1.Ashley Judd's Weird Appeal
2.Black Man Down
3.The Royal Waterbong
4.Trailer for Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
5.Freddie Prinze Jr. Smiles Dumbly For 90 Minutes