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07/29/26   
Two bit, low down, rotten, dirty happiness

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Quote of the Day
“To sleep, perchance to dream. As long as I do not dream of being pursued by that creepy Duracell robot family, for that shit was truly too much for a soul to endure.”

-Robert Shakenspear
Fortune 500 Cookie
Do not take the road less traveled, 'cause the toll is complete bullshit. If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you? Your mother will finally find out this week. Two brutal assaults is a coincidence, three is a lack of self-control. Expect to be broken hearted this week, as the writing on the bathroom wall foretold. Lucky numbers all make a sum of 9.


Try again later.
5 Phrases Guaranteed to Get You Slapped
1.My testicles feel funny. Do they feel funny to you?
2.You're very pretty. For a man, I mean.
3.Why don't you go back to the kitchen and sit on this egg until it's hatched, bitch.
4.If anyone wants to suck my cock, laugh awkwardly.
5.Our greatest mistake as a country was fighting to keep Texas (Texas only)