the commune: Contents

03/26/26

All we are is ducks in the wind

Archived Back Issues:

Milestones

2002: commune staffer writes this Ã¬MilestonesÃ® blurb, causing time to fold in on itself and destroy the universe.

Now Hiring

Charles Bronson. Experienced Charles Bronson needed to pull off some Deathwish-style menacing to scare off Ivana Folger-Balzac once and for all. Five years Charles Bronson experience minimum. Please provide references, and filmography.

5 Phrases Guaranteed to Get You Slapped

1.	My testicles feel funny. Do they feel funny to you?
2.	You're very pretty. For a man, I mean.
3.	Why don't you go back to the kitchen and sit on this egg until it's hatched, bitch.
4.	If anyone wants to suck my cock, laugh awkwardly.
5.	Our greatest mistake as a country was fighting to keep Texas (Texas only)

Copyright 2026 the commune. All rights reserved, no whites served.
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.