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07/19/26   
Made almost entirely of buffalo

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Milestones
131 B.C.: Roman inventor Pontius creates love accidentally while trying to come up with a perfume that staves off homosexuality. Anyone who disagrees, we invite them to tell us who created love then.
Now Hiring
Barber. Staff barber sought to keep heads neat and trim, faces clean shaven, and reduce hippieness by at least 30%. Own scissors and weird Vitalis smell a plus. Controversial "tell-it-like-it-is" barbers need not apply.
Top Ways to Leave Your Lover
1.Join Al-Qaeda
2.Quit Al-Qaeda
3.Mail self to Shanghai (unless from Shanghai)
4.Singing Dump-o-Gram
5.Blaze of Glory/Blaze of Lies