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05/26/26   
High on life, and it is a bad trip

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Quote of the Day
“History is written by Jonathan Winters.”

-Germaine "Double Dip" Proverb
Fortune 500 Cookie
For God's sake, don't climb up in that porcupine tree. Sorry, being optimistic still won't get you a discount on eyeglasses. Remember, "lambast" is neither a compliment nor a veterinary term. This week, you will find love where you least expected it: up the ass. Your lucky disguise: a giant plastic toucan.


Try again later.
Top Mike Tyson Hotel Brawl Excuses
1.Men insulted Tyson's little yappy dog.
2."Dude reminded me that I raped his sister."
3.Tyson heard bell ring in lobby.
4.Victim reminded Mike of "Little Mac."
5.Men taunted Tyson with their delicious-looking ears.