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02/6/26   
Midnight Cowboys, in a non-gay way

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Quote of the Day
“Do unto others how you would do unto somebody who you knew for sure would do the same stuff back to you that you did to them, only in reverse. On second thought… just be nice, okay asshole?”

-Beazus Frist, CPA
Fortune 500 Cookie
Nobody likes a smartass… wait a minute, everybody loves a smartass. It's you they don't like. In an effort to make your personality more rounded and appealing, try learning the Tibetan Touch of Death this week. Remember, God made it hard to get your tongue into your own ass for a good reason. This week's lucky prescriptions: Cockgromax, Deuglycontin, Halitosinex, Slopecia, Lilpenihance, Fucoft.


Try again later.
5 Worst Katrina-Related Headlines
1.Everything Possible Done by President (Fox News)
2.Tabasco Shortage Reaches Drastic Proportions
3.Cancun Prepares for Huge Rise in Mardi Gras Reservations
4.Bubba Gump Still Missing in Disaster
5.Saints Season Ticket Holders Hit Hardest by Tragedy