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03/14/26   
We all scream for iced tea

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Quote of the Day
“Upon being stopped by the Customs Officer during my trip to America, he asked: 'Have you anything to declare?' I burst forward, telling him, 'Only my genius!' I was promptly beaten to a piteous pulp and subjected to a humiliating search. Needless to say, they found my weed.”

-Wildman Oscar Davies
Fortune 500 Cookie
By next week you will not believe what passes for a blowjob these days. Guess how many quarters I have in my left pocket and I will be quite surprised. I said don't cauliflower last week? I did? That doesn't sound like something I'd say. Remember, trust no one. Including me. If you believe that, you're a fool.


Try again later.
Top 5 Things Heard on Election Night
1."Now keep in mind, with only 2% of the precincts reporting, it could go either way. But it certainly looks good for Mr. Nader at the moment."
2."What the fuck is that blue one? Vermont?"
3."The polls have just closed, and thank God, the bars are just opening…"
4."I can't believe this—even Wyoming has an electoral vote."
5."This is not happening… this is not happening…."