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05/8/26   
Where the customer is always... riiiiight.

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Quote of the Day
“The good die first. Then, the not-so good. Then the ugly. Strike that, the ugly should die first. Can I start again? If there are any good left, don't kill them yet, we've still got some uglies over here.”

-Billiam Swordswart
Fortune 500 Cookie
The next time you give a dog as a gift, why don't you try poking some holes in the cellophane, ay handyman? Here's something to chew on: gum. Remember: you can't hurry love, but you can get your ass in motion when you're blocking the express lane, chunky. This week's lucky ducks: Donald, Daffy, Dontrelle, Fukka.


Try again later.
Least Popular April Fools' Pranks
1.Entire world repopulated with talking dogs while you slept
2.Autistic cousin did your taxes for you, but it turns out he's a music savant
3.You're CNN's Kidnapper of the Week!
4.Woke up covered in 200 glued-on toupees
5.Anal rape