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03/9/26   
Peace, love and a penis

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Quote of the Day
“What joyous spring, what sylvan glade, alive with growth and life anew, springing forth in buds of nature's splendor, what miracle of- what, it's snowing? Again? FUUUUUCK. I'll be at the pub.”

-Roderick Youngfellow
Fortune 500 Cookie
You are so ugly, the mere sight of you makes small children give up on life. No twist to that, it just needed to be said. Instead of Band-Aids this week, use bacon. Everybody loves bacon. The only cure for breath like yours is the Hemmingway solution. This week's lucky haiku: Luke Luck licks dykes, Luke's dick sticks Mikes, Mike's wife knifes like OJ.


Try again later.
Last 5 Places Saddam Hussein Was Hiding
1.One of several elaborate underground tunnels theorized during first Gulf War
2.Baghdad Denny's, open 24 hours, breakfast anytime
3.Foreign film section of Alabama Blockbuster
4.Baby's momma house
5.Don Imus