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12/10/25   
Your secretest Santa

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Milestones
1992: Ramon Nootles is married in Las Vegas. It is not the last wedding for Nootles, nor his last in Las Vegas, nor his last making heavy use of alcohol and strippers.
Now Hiring
Hooker. Must pretend to be girlfriend while bosses are visiting. Live with handsome bachelor, no sex involved, go on crazy shopping expeditions with high potential for comedy. Should be capable of winning people over with down-to-earth personality. If successful, will go on to become full-time beard for obviously gay attractive man.
Top 5 Reasons Facebook is Losing Users
1.My fucking parents are on Facebook
2.Cockbook siphoning away gay users
3.Fickle masses already moving on to next David Fincher movie craze, Pogs
4.Tiny fraction of Zuckerberg karma coming back on the installment plan
5.Facebook is retarded