Milestones
1979: A young Omar Bricks writes the first incarnation of what will eventually become his "My Friend Polio" column, originally titled "Why I Peed in the Water Fountain."Now Hiring
Web Site Designer. Must have little to no professional experience, critical eye, delusions of grandeur, and think every current website sucks big ass compared to own Helmet fan page with FAQ. Starting pay of $90k to $250k, based on sheer swagger. Position will replace current asshole Neal, who should be finding out about this… just about… now. Best Selling Albums
| 1. | Come On Britney Spears |
| 2. | I Keep Returning Like Freddy Krueger Madonna |
| 3. | Passable Generic Metal Creed |
| 4. | Farting to Critical Raves Radiohead |
| 5. | Fossils Aerosmith |
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