"And a dash of oregano for zest." "Geez honey. Just keep that between Massengale and you, okay?"

"Mr. White, you're being sued for millions, on trial for molestation and you've got bowel problems. Why so happy?" "I like Shrinky Dinks" "Ah."

"So... it says here you're really good at knitting." "Yes." "Do you, heh heh, knit a lot?" "A bit, yes." "Heh heh *drool*, would you knit with me?" "What?"

"Aren't you going to take off your raincoat?" "No, not until I get to work." "Where do you work?" "The elementary school." "Ah! A teacher." "Ye-e-eahh..."

"No, I've grown quite accustomed to miniature paratroopers divebombing out of my larynx"

"Mr. Wonka! You've put on weight! Was it candy" "No... not candy... by the way... Oompah Loompahs taste like chicken."

"Don't fret Robert, it's not really a third hand. Say hello to my underdeveloped siamese twin Shelly"

"Iceberg off the port bow!" "We're in the tropics, you idiot!" "I'm the king of the world!!!" "Where's my shotgun?"

"Jenkins! You sat in my chair!" "I did no such thing!" "You DID! I sniffed the leather! It smelt of ambrosia and pressed daisies" Senility was setting in.

"No, careful, don't scratch my dingy! Why are you laughing?! I paid for this dingy for chrissakes! Shut up!"

"Aren't you going to come spit into Uncle Lou's ashes with me?" "I would like to, dearest, but my hair is decoratively draped on the wall."

"We want Fabio!" "Ladies, please!" "Yes! We want Fabio! Big, hot, buttery slabs of Fabio!" "Ladies!" "Bring us Fabio!"

"He he. I loves the big city!" "Uh, sir, that's a phone." "Not a slut machine?" "Uh, slot." "Yer welcome."

"Of course not EVERYONE juggles the skulls of infants so- HEY! Where are you guys going?"

"You know where the princess is. I know you know where the princess is. Talk! Talk!" "Luigi! That cockasucka! He ran off witha my princess!"