They're performing an autopsy on a Slinky.

"Gee... I though an Ouiji Board would be fun... this is just stupid... Ronald's epilepsy doesn't help either..."

Guests always tried to look the other way when Alfred would start demonstrating how he "loves his house."

Mother was always proud of Stanley, well up until she found out he'd spent seven years sculpting a statue of Satan out of bile.

It's not many mechanics who will give you same-day service, offer low prices, and accompany you home that night to sing Broadway showtunes.

"While the true 'Lucy' show will give you eternal laughs, the fake 'Lucy' show will take them from you."

"Now, now Harvey, give me back my nose. I'm not going drinking with you anymore if you keep grabbing my nose between your fingers."

"I keep trying to tell you honey, this face doesn't peel off! That other one was a Halloween mask!"

<CRACK> " ... That ought to shut the bastard up ... oh, damn ... he hadn't assembled Tommy's bike yet."

I hear that "white blood cell" pattern on the drapes was really big back in the Twilight Zone.

"Hey honey, check out my new industrial meat grinder. Works for cows you know." "Really! Why did...hey...hey put me down!" *WOOSH* *SPLAT* *CRUNCH*

"Guess which hand has your heart medication in it and you can have one. Sorry, wrong one. But here's a tic tac."

"A magic spell to make one's face slide off!? Phooey!" *TING!*

Harold's party wasn't going as he expected.

Tired of the breast jokes, Mary shoves her ass at the screengrabber. But the magic just wasnt there...

I DON'T GET IT!