Huh, I thought they were kidding when they said they were going to use Christopher Walken in the new THX ads.

That's right, Timmy, you ride the smaller bus because it's special, like you.

"Wow. I had no idea Jell-O was so volatile!"

"Bitchin', man. Now them commie-ass gremlins'll think twice about messin' with my TV antenna on Christmas Eve!"

Y'know, I never though that whole saying 'RuPaul' thing three times in front of a mirror would work, but now...

Dear Penthouse Forum, I always thought your letters were fake, but the other day I was approached by a quisinart who wanted me AND the toaster, I was nervous...

I wanted the hairdo of the other girl in the magazine!

"What do you mean A-HA isn't around either? You know... 'take on me??' Man, the future BITES!"

The Gillette floorboard. For the closest full body shave a man can get. The choice of Olymic Swimmers around the world!

"Hey Earl?" "Yeah Hank?" "This plutonium." "Yeah, what about 'er?" "Shoo, sure is soft to the touch."

"I tell ya Chad! Damn Flubber is flooding the engine! Look! The hood is glowing!"

Sure, neat design, but just you try and play a "Puddle O' Warm Piss" card in a Magic tournament, see how far it gets you.