"Come on, Timmy. Don't you want to play with your Nintendo?" "I hate you." "Well the very least you could do is try out the Rubik's Cube I bought you." "You suck."

Steve ya missed it, Timmy ran into the wall again. 10 bucks says he does it again.

"Don't feel bad, Timmy... wanna watch some TV?" "I'm blind." "Oops! My mistake! Here... have some comic books." "You're a sick bastard." "I know..."

"Good news, sisters! We've figured a way to make the crucifixes vibrate!" *APPLAUSE*

We now return to Bob Evilla and "This Old Haunted House..."

"Come sit, my disciples... the time has drawn near, and as we partake of this, the last supper, I must share with you the wisdom of our most benevolent God in Heaven. Yay, and he spake unto me, three guys walk into a bar... the first guy has a trombone on his head, and he says to the bartender..."

"A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A... you guys really need to put up the money for a real siren... A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A..."

Hi ho Hi ho it's off to work we go, with razor blades and handgrenades hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho...

"Next Psychic feeding at..."

Here we see a rare glimpse of a man using the New York City's new public restrooms.

"And now... Stephen Hawkings rides the escalators! Only on the Cruel Joke Network!"

Gynecologist? The hell....