Mr. Rogers turns to the window, chuckles, drops his pants and pisses onto the faces of the crowd below screaming "I'm more popular than Jesus!"

There you have it, folks. Proof positive that Windows is a virus.

"Dammit ... I'll quit smoking for good ... this time."

[Mission Impossible theme] "Ooh, that rassafrassin' cotton-pickin' rabbit's done got me for the last time! Let's see what this small strategic warhead does..."

"Why no sir... I don't know anything about the employees getting drunk from the water cooler... wine? Well..."

It was'nt how Kurt liked to slowly burn off tick with electrical wires just to hear em scream that was creepy. It was the fact that he kept reattaching new ones.

"Why I see your Schwartz is as small as mine!"

That'll do pig. Er, I said that'll do pig. No, I don't want to see what you can do with a watermelon and a g-string. That'll do, dammit!

But enough about the O.J. Simpson jury.

Chairface Chipendale gets lucky...

Ted's ventriloquist act got real weird when he took out his penis and introduced it as "Mr. Gettin' Jiggly Wit It"

Roger turns into a Yellow Taxi Cab every full moon.

Then, Santa entered the Monotlith: "Ho ho ho! It's full of stars!"

Things seemed to be going well until a drunken Sprout knocks the Jolly Green Giant's corpse from the coffin... pandemonium ensues.

Rhoda, Mistress Of The Dark