![]()
AP
Blake (left) and Slater, the new stars of Court-TV
| ![]() |
The move has been seen by some to attract attention to a case that sounds pretty ho-hum in the modern media age. The Blake case, while garnering some media spotlight, has failed to attract the attention of the infamous O.J. Simpson case, lacking in comparison in brutality and sheer star power.
Slater, whose own career has slipped from attention in recent years, welcomed the prosecution, with a firm promise he and Blake will beat the charges.
“C’mon, we’re famous!” he shouted at a press conference. “We’ll be out in time to guest star on the Ally McBeal finale. Or, failing that, Fox Celebrity Boxing.”
The prosecution announced at the same time it was dropping conspiracy charges against Robert Blake’s bodyguard Earle Caldwell, saying he “just didn’t appeal as strongly to the 18-35 age group as Slater.”
“We thought of many possibilities,” said prosecution team member Rad Harmscull. “Our first thought was Peter Falk, but we figured people might have trouble figuring out which is which. Todd Bridges was another possibility, but he had his day in criminal court for murder and we all yawned and let him go. This time I think we’ve got a can’t-lose case for international media buzz.”
However, Blake counsel Harland Braun was less pleased about the move.
“It’s ridiculous media manipulation by the prosecution,” said Braun. “Mr. Blake is not afraid to have his day in court over this matter, but we’re not going to share it with some kid from Young Guns 2. Not to mention it makes no sense. They don’t even know each other. Why not longtime Blake friend talk show host Tom Snyder or something? This is plainly a media-oriented move by the prosecution.”
If the co-defendant prosecution ignites sparks in media interest, there are already rumors abounding about bringing in former Wiseguy star Ken Wahl on a conspiracy to destroy evidence charge. And if that move is successful, Wahl could receive his own spin-off murder trial, depending on the focus group’s look at the evidence.
“I think we’re doing very well now,” Harmscull said. “We took a so-so case and have possibly made it into the trial of the century. This century, and even bigger than the trial of last century. Sure, we may not win as all the facts don’t line up meticulously. But while we could’ve had a victory and execution before, killed some little rascal for some humdrum crime no one cared about… now we’ve created a lasting piece of criminal justice. This is the trial to which all others will be compared. And if it takes off, we promise there will be others.”
the commune news is brown, flush it down. Ramon Nootles is a loyal commune reporter, no matter what a certain paid informant at The San Francisco Examiner insinuates.
Recession Slowed by Gains in Absurd Collectables
Useless shit market saves US economy yet again
Thousands of Missing Children Found at "Have You Seen Me?" Headquarters
Ironic raid stuns a sleepy nation
Eagles Draft Aniston
Sitcom star surprise pick of NFL draft
Ancient Writings Turn Out to be Gang Graffiti
Cuneiform tags date back 6000 years
Bush Unveils Martyr Prevention Hotline
Toll-free number provides hope for suicide bombers
Ohio Rep. Traficant Sticks to Convictions, Despite Convictions
Congressman refuses to budge in face of partisanship, illegal doings
Falwell in Domain Name-Buying Frenzy
Reverend seeks to avoid all future satire
Church Clarifies “No Sex With Kids” Stance
Widespread allegations of abuse confuse public
Arafat Voted “Hunkiest Palestinian”
Popular boy-band leader wins award for 28th straight year
Israelis Capture Arafat to Win “March Madness”
Month of insane killing and terrorism ends in victory for Israel.
Academy Fucks Up commune Oscar Pool Something Awful
Historic year of self-congratulation throws prognosticators a curve.
Re-Release of E.T. Celebrates Spielberg's Vanity
Sci-fi fantasy, beloved by director, returns to theaters.
Bush Narrowly Escapes Near-Ethnic Encounter
President resting comfortably among white people once again.
Byrne Ditches Naked Man at Mall
Recent dream described as "so vivid" by witnesses.