ANSEL EVANS for the commune David Byrne, appearing in a dream near you

Touchdowne, 32, a systems analyst for a California software firm, admitted that in reality, the two have never met.

“But in this dream I had the other night, not only did I get to meet David Byrne, but we spent what seemed like a whole lot of time together, just talking and doing things and stuff. First, I was just kind of walking along this beach, and I realized there was this guy right beside me, and when I looked, it turned out that it was David Byrne, former leader of the band Talking Heads. So we were just walking along, and we were talking and everything, and then pretty soon we were riding in a car together. We got to this house, and I realized in the dream that it was the house I had lived in when I was a teenager. And then David Byrne came into the house with me! He was actually in the house I used to live in!”

“I remember we talked about music and all kinds of stuff, and he was really friendly, just very low-key and casual, and it was just a really very pleasant encounter. At one point I told him that sometimes when I listened to his music, either the things he said or the way he said them just made me laugh. I couldn’t help it, I said, I just laughed. He thought that was pretty funny, and he told me in the dream about this part of one song that he sang by calling over the phone and then holding the receiver up to the microphone. That part was really amazing, you know? I mean, how many people get musical tips like that in their dreams from someone like David Byrne?”

“Anyway, so there we were in the living room, and then my mom and my sister came in the room, and then I think they asked me to go to the store or something, because the next thing I knew, the dream kind of shifted, and I realized I was at the mall, but I was standing there naked in front of the Hickory Farms store, and everyone was looking at me. So of course David Byrne was gone by then, but still, it was pretty cool that we got to hang out together.”

Asked if it was common for him to have dreams about celebrities, Touchdowne admitted that he had also had dreams involving personalities such as Mick Jagger, Bruce Springsteen, Richard Nixon and Cameron Diaz, among others.

“One of the strangest ones was where I was hanging out with Harry Nilsson,” Touchdowne said. “Harry was really cool and everything, but I kept remembering in the dream that he’s really dead in real life. So in the dream, I kept saying, ‘But aren’t you dead? You’re dead, aren’t you?’ He never answered me, but that particular dream never seemed as real as most of the others. Because how can you hang out with a dead guy, you know?”

When this reporter pointed out that Richard Nixon is also dead, Touchdowne replied, “He is? Really? Wow, when did that happen?”

Despite repeated calls to his publicist regarding Touchdowne’s dream, Mr. Byrne was not available for comment.

Here at the commune, we all dream of Bludney Plud, or whatever it is he’s calling himself this week, just leaving us all the hell alone. Is that so much to ask?

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