Cheney, Halliburton Connection Under Close Scrutiny
Issues of impropriety raised with award of contracts
WHIT PISTOL
Vice-President Cheney tries to indicate where blame should be placed.
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Questions raised in the past week about the conflict of interests between Vice-President Dick Cheney and contracts awarded to his former firm Halliburton and its subsidiaries have given Democrats a weak spot in criticizing the information. The controversy rose to attention upon revelation that a 2-year contract with Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg Brown & Root to put out oil fires, repair the Iraqi oil infrastructure, and clean up oil spills could mean as much as $7 billion for the company, which Cheney was CEO of for five years before becoming the president’s running mate.
The company denies any impropriety, despite senior Democratic Congressman saying the lack of any competitors and the multi-year nature of the contract is highly questionable. Halliburton spokespeople say the $7 billion return is a cap, and the real return will be as little as $490 million. The distinct sound of giggling was possibly in the background.
Deeper investigation has raised more issues with the Halliburton-Cheney connection. Subsidiary company Orlando-Dawn is the leading maker of yellow ribbons, and had been going out of business for nearly ten years before the Bush administration began its military efforts against Iraq, leading some Democrats to claim Cheney’s manipulation has again resulted in increased profits for his former company.
Other beneficiaries of the Iraq war have been Keymint, makers of pro-Bush picket signs; Igog, makers of the “Dunk Saddam!” online video game; and the Stubborn Jackass country, which makes American flag-themed apparel and T-shirts reading “These colors don’t run”—all Halliburton subsidiaries.
“It’s hardly surprising our interests would match those of the Vice-President’s,” defended Halliburton spokesperson Mitchell Weeze, a tall oily guy on the thin side with a mysterious lazy eye. “Vice-President Cheney and Halliburton made for a mutually beneficial alliance because we believe in the same things—America, the military, and imposing justice on other countries. It doesn’t mean anything improper occurred in the administration’s decision-making or the contracts awarded our companies.”
Harder to explain were other revelations later in the week, such as the contract proposed that Halliburton would paint the White House a new off-white eggshell color over the summer. The contract, which was discussed and had not been awarded yet, was even more questionable since none of Halliburton’s subsidiaries are involved in professional house painting. An administration insider said the exclusive contract would have been for $120 million and would have required Halliburton executives to paint the White House over a series of weekends off the company clock.
The same insider, a man who identified himself as Donald Rumsfeld’s brother Sammy, said perks of future contracts would include extra keys to the White House doors and the privilege of crashing in spare White House bedrooms whenever board members were in town—or on the floor, if that’s cool with them.
Cheney responded quickly, with Cheney-grade antagonism.
“All of those purported benefits are completely, utterly fabricated,” said Cheney in a press release Friday. “The deal was they could stay in the guest bungalow out back. If they think we’re giving up White House bedrooms for less than 7-figure campaign donations, they’re out of their corporate mind.”
the commune news is totally against kickbacks, tagbacks, and sucking spit back up after you’ve dangled it. Gross. Ramon Nootles is a commune correspondent and the only certified hunk on the staff, though his certificate is in his own handwriting, now that you mention it.
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