‘Affirmative Action Policy Unfair,’ Says Rich, Dumb, White President
Race-based admittance instead of wealth-based unconstitutional
WHIT PISTOL
President Bush, shortly after filing his petition, is lost in thought, possibly to never return.
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Rich, dumb, white president George W. Bush, the “W” possibly standing for “Whitey,” took the opportunity on Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday Wednesday to show where he stood on civil rights by denouncing the University of Michigan’s affirmative action admissions policy.
It comes as a real shock to a handful of people who buy entirely into presidential soundbytes and vote-grabbing. The Bush administration has attempted to court minorities with promises of real changes in civil rights, though perhaps Bush intended the change to be a step backward and just purposely omitted saying what kind of change he was talking about.
Plaintiffs, also exceedingly white people from mostly non-impoverished families, have filed a lawsuit against the University of Michigan because they were not admitted to the school while members of minority groups were admitted, with possibly lower scores in some cases. University of Michigan policy allows for a points-based system that allows ethnic diversity as a deciding factor for admissions, and, in short, they had more white people than they could use, which is often the case with white people.
In a petition supporting the plaintiffs’ case against U of M, Bush, with the help of many white White House staff people, wrote, “At their core the Michigan policies amount to a quota system that unfairly rewards or penalizes prospective students based solely on their race,” the president said. Basically, the fact they are minorities is an unfair advantage to them, wrote the rich son of an ex-president.
Later, to a White House press group, Bush continued, “It’s the American way for people to overcome diversity, ain’t it? That’s what I’m trying to do here.”
When Bush was told he sounded like an asshole by aides, he amended his statements later.
“What I meaned to have said, is that overcoming obstacles and stuff is real hard. And getting into college is real hard. Ethnic people of all races should have to overcome their own obstacles to get in and not get in because of they races—be they black, white, brown, or Arabs. It’s unfair to let people in because of they skin color. This policy of racist-based admission provides an unfair ‘vantage to non-white people, and I cannot abide that. I guarantee you if this policy was in place where I went to school, I would not have gotten in.”
Spokespeople for the University of Michigan agreed: “It’s true. Bush never would have gotten in here.”
Many congressman, also rich and white, have opposed Bush’s stance on affirmative action. Besides Democratic presidential hopefuls for 2004, a handful of Republican senators pleaded with Bush via letter before the announcement to resist supporting the plaintiffs. The decision, they said, would do harm to the system of higher education.
It is believed the president received the letter before issuing his petition, but aides say he may not have read it since it looked really long and used a number of words that he didn’t want to have to look up.
Following on Trent Lott’s pro-segregationist remarks in December and his thousands of failed apologies in its wake, the move could do a lot to damage the “compassionate conservatism” agenda by the Republican party to embrace minorities while still keeping them at arm’s length.
According to some within the GOP, Bush must quickly again issue pro-unity words as quickly as possible to reaffirm that position, and preferably before taxes are again raised on the working classes.
the commune news has always endorsed hiring policies based on race, particularly sack races, which has led to our hiring of sack-race ringer Stigmata Spent. Nobody beats us, and we mean nobody. White House correspondent Lil Duncan wishes we would focus more on her years of fine-polished reporting skills and less on her grade-A sack racing, but we’re not likely to win as many awards for reporting as we do for racing.
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