Stupid Pakistan Won’t Let Us Chase Stupid Terrorists into Their Stupid Borders
Whole stupid country just exceedingly stupid
SNAPPER McGEE
Yeah, that's a great military outfit, dipshit. No one wants your stupid borders anyway.
|  |
The retarded government of Pakistan revealed their true terrorist-loving colors Saturday when they Indian-gave permission to the United States to chase terrorists within their borders.
Information Minister Sheikh Rashid “Queerbait” Ahmed lied through his crooked teeth and told reporters that Pakistan never gave the U.S. consent to pursue suspected terrorists and Taliban mooks into their country’s borders from neighboring Afghanistan. This is complete bullshit, according to virtually everybody.
The bald-faced lie follows a December 29 incident when a lousy terrorist shot an American soldier near the Pakistani-Afghanani border. We dropped bombs on the suspected asshole and the big Pakistan babies whined that one of them fell in their country. Like they could even tell one bomb apart from the thousands of home-made ones just lying about.
The policy of “hot pursuit” has been in place since March of 2002, when the United States government issued the order that terrorists could be chased across the Pakistani-Afghanattistani border if a reasonable suspicion existed. According to the Pentagon, the hot pursuit policy was agreed on by Pakistan and the United States.
The policy was hotly disputed by dumbass Pakistani muslims, who hate us and everything we do no matter what, and now the government has stated that it never approved the U.S. policy of hot pursuit. What dicks, according to inside sources.
Hot pursuit is an extremely important policy to the stabilization of Afghanistan, the elimination of terrorists within the borders of ally countries, and the War on Terror, according to Pentagon strategist General Wembley Admission.
“It is imperative that our boys have the complete and unquestioning support of Pakistan and its military,” stated Admission. “No country benefits from the continued presence of terrorists. Pakistan would be doing a service to its people and itself by allowing our soldiers access to their country in pursuits. But don’t take my word for it… ask my friend here.”
Admission then slowly, inspiringly looked over his shoulder to a large waving flag hanging outside his window. There was not a dry eye in the room, sources said.
“Hot pursuit” expert Roscoe P. Coltrane of Hazzard Country could not be reached for a quote, but has been quoted elsewhere in reference to the policy, saying, “Coo’ coo’! Hot pursuit! Let’s go, Flash!”
When prank-called for a response, the Pakistani Ministry of Information repeatedly asked who we were and who we worked for. The name “Heywood Jablomie” was not accepted and the giggling gave us away before we could reach anyone for a quote.
the commune news has been known to pursue suspected enemies into the offices of downstairs neighbor Crochet! magazine in pursuant with our “Screw Crochet! magazine” policy. Foreign correspondent Ivan Nacutchacokov wired us this story from Pakistan, but fiercely patriotic Ted Ted thought it needed “more punch.”
U.N. Weapons Inspectors Want to Come Home
Iraq not as fun as they remembered it
Sales of Crappy Christmas Gifts Reach Record High
If it's lame and cheap, you're getting it for Christmas
Trent Lott on BET: ‘Truly Sizzorry, Homeslice’
Senator busts an apology on Black Entertainment Television
Red Bagel: You the Man of the Year
commune Editor receives not-at-all staged award for fourth time
A Nation Bored: America Waits Patiently for Something, Anything to Happen
An apathetic United States endures a time of deep ho-hum.
22 Dead and Children Delighted by Snowstorm
Extreme temperatures bring death, fun to east coast.
Records Indicate Strom Thurmond Died in 1982
Republican Senator carries on despite timely demise