Pres and Prime Minister played by Ashton Kutcher, M-TV  

WHIT PISTOL
The president, shortly after Prime Minister Tony Blair (right) “dumbs down” the explanation given Blair that they are the victims of M-TV’s version of Dick Clark’s Bloopers & Practical Jokes.

President George W. Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair were shocked into jovial amiability Saturday when their reception of the 2003 Nobel Peace Prize was interrupted by the revelation they had been “punk’d” by Ashton Kutcher and his gang of M-TV pranksters.

Punk’d, a modern-day celebrity-on-celebrity Candid Camera or the poor-man’s Totally Hidden Video, features That ‘70s Show star Kutcher and other modern pop culture icons giving another fellow celebrity a good-natured razzing. The staged Nobel Peace Prize ceremony ended Saturday when Kutcher jumped out from nearby curtains to reveal Bush and Blair to be the latest superstars added to the Punk’d roster.

Blair was reportedly surprised, confused, and slightly disappointed to find out the Nobel Peace Prize was only a spirited gag. Bush was simply confused, and after several more minutes and an explanation that the show was much like the WB’s Jamie Kennedy Experiment did he exhibit vague comprehending. Bush apparently did recognize Kutcher from Dude, Where’s My Car? immediately, but merely thought he had shown up to support the president’s reward.

“You should have seen your face!” Kutcher yelled when he leapt from behind the curtain, to which Bush responded, “It’s Dude!”

The elaborate hoax began Thursday when Norwegian parliamentarian Jan Simonsen nominated the Iraq coalition pair for the Nobel Peace Prize. The entire world was surprised by the suggestion, given the history of traditionally awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to those who work to prevent war rather than lead into it, but once the nominating committee was let in on the joke by Punk’d co-star Dax Shepard, they agreed to go along with the gag.

“Frankly, it did surprise me,” Blair said late Saturday, after the joke was revealed. “I understand the Nobel Prize nominations end around February 1st, and the ceremonies are usually held in October rather than the Saturday after a nomination. Not to mention the fact we, the president and I, started a war entirely for political purposes without a shred of evidence. That didn’t seem to be a normal Peace Prize prerequisite.”

Kutcher, a fellow Tool fan, was brought in on the presidential prank by Bush daughters Jenna and Barbara, with a little help by former Vice-President Al Gore. He thought it only fair after the “punking” George W. and Jeb gave him in the 2000 election, with a little help from Katharine Harris.

“One good turn deserves another, Dubya—you been Punk’d, sucker!” said a possibly inebriated Gore via phone Saturday.

A solemn Bush, described by aids as a little sour but in general good spirits, interrupted network broadcasts Sunday night to apprise the country of the situation.

“Yes, America, the stories you have heard are true. I have been Punk’d by M-TV. The award I received was not a Nobel Peace Prize after all, but a leftover M-TV Movie Award never collected by Chris Tucker for the Best On-Screen Duo Category. The man awarding me the award was not the head of the Nobel Institute Director Geir Lundestad, but a young man Lance Bass of some singing group. As always, this administration accepts minor setbacks and tries to move on. In fact, I have since formed a committee to find out if these reports of weapons of mass destruction as yet unfound in Iraq might be part of some Osama bin Laden-hosted Al-Jazeera practical joke program.”

the commune news has never been Punk’d, though there was a period in 1999 when it might have looked like it after we made the mistake of cutting our own hair. Raoul Dunkin is some kind of correspondent, and no kind of hero.

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