State of the Union
Speech a Repeat
Presidential address to the nation all previously-aired material
ANSEL EVANS
A Sears employee known only as Dave watches the presidential re-run, while we wait to be checked out at the register.
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After the excitement of the sports-dominated weekend, Americans faced a rush of new programming afterward, with the exception of some repeats, most notable among them the State of the Union address Tuesday night by President George W. Bush.
Controversy has surrounded the address, as Republicans are quick to agree with Bush’s support of tax cuts and military action against Iraq, Democrats aim to poke holes in the president’s poor domestic policies, and most Americans convinced the speech is the same one given at the last State of the Union.
“I don’t know,” said Indianapolis, IN shop teacher Milton Haig, “they kept telling me it was new. I keep thinking I saw some people who weren’t there last time, in the audience or in the background… but I’m pretty sure I saw it last time it was on and it was the same thing.”
Some would not even entertain doubts about the broadcast, which the White House claims was entirely new material written and beamed live to America Tuesday, January 28, 2003.
“Of course it was a repeat,” said Kitty Wong, Big Tobacco publicist. “I remember it clearly when it first aired. Bush said something about terrorism, then he said Saddam Hussein was evil and the U.S. was ready to go to war. Oh, and he said something about tax breaks because the economy can’t grow unless people are out spending money and such. Yeah, sure I remember it well—I’ve seen it at least twice, probably more than that. That’s like the Christmas episode or something they drag out whenever they need to fill a slot.”
The Bush White House insisted the broadcast was a brand new speech.
“Of course it was a new State of the Union,” said antagonistic press secretary Ari Fleischer. “The president, no president, has ever run a repeat of the State of the Union address and President Bush would not be the first—and quit making those little hand ‘quote’ signs whenever you say President. Tuesday night, despite these rumors and claims, the president put forth a new agenda to lower taxes and stimulate the economy, while clearly outlining his plan to hold Saddam to the disarmament promise he made years ago. And if that takes military force, then we’ll use it. That’s all new, folks.”
The confusion is understandable, said former Newstime editor and quotable commentator Reg Sallad.
“Sometimes news doesn’t move as fast as expected, and particularly in a down economy, the president likes to keep attention on foreign issues and potential enemies, and Saddam Hussein has been the outstanding villain for Republicans for more than a decade,” said Sallad solemnly. “During periods of prosperity or extreme economic desperation, Americans feel there is no excuse for increasing military spending and sending American troops into war. Americans may be confusing the repetition in party soundbytes since they haven’t really changed for either party in at least ten years. Or, it’s entirely possible it was just a lame repeat.”
Despite the assertion by most politicians that the speech was new and worth discussing, there doesn’t seem to be much call for Americans to care either way.
Johann Regal, a Butte, Montana soccer coach: “At least the new TV shows are back on. There’s an all-female Fear Factor that looks really hot, and that new Survivor, too. It’s about time, those networks were stretching for filler programming lately. Did you see Tuesday night? They were running some 1989 speech by Bush, like right before the Gulf War started.”
the commune news thinks it’s bullshit they’re running repeats of presidential speeches, but if we continue to complain so audibly everyone will notice we ran this article the first time back in March of last year. Lil Duncan is the commune’s Washington correspondent and never met a man she didn’t like—did we use that one already?
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