"Boy... this cigarette dispensing tie is a great improvement over my cigar dispensing belt buckle. Too bad they won't let me on the university grounds anymore."

Bill continued to listen attentively to the answering machine salesman, oblivious to the rapid evaporation of his hair.

Here we see a rare glimpse of a man using the New York City's new public restrooms.

SFX by Lite-Brite

This is why you should not feed Janet Reno after midnight, folks...

Hey, Bob! Mediocre ass!

Though no word was spoken, everyone knew... every time someone said the word "limp" the couple gave each other knowing glances.

"Yessss, Meatloaf... be my victim..." "What's with the extra muscle, Candyman?" "Gotta hoist your bloated ass in the death cart, yessss..."

Tom Savini the porn legend? I DID NOT KNOW THAT!

Martha Stewart here to say that past life regression is a good thing.

Guess who just realized they forgot to change out of the kinky lingirie and into sensible briefs before walking into the doctor's office...

"No, Timmy, you've been a baaaaaaaaaaaad boy. And coal just isn't cutting it any more."

Menage-a-Thing.

Failed Superheroes #39: Homeless Man... "Trouble at the rehab unit? To the Cart-mobile!"

It was pure havoc when a conga line errupted while the Olympic commitee was testing the urine samples.