Shimmergloom:
I can't believe it took four bullets to shut that crying baby up.
Angel_Noir:
"Is that what I think it is?" "Yeah, I did just what you told me to." "Son, when I said 'Take care of Grandma,' I didn't mean *TAKE* care of her!"
JediClone:
"Tonight on Rescue 911:" "I got a paper cut!" "Why aren't we getting better stories?" "We would Mr. Shatner, but the participants are afraid they'd haveta meet you."
keogh:
Sharon knew she couldn't go on like this, decapitating her husbands and sticking their heads in bowling bags. She knew she needed to give up bowling.
E_B_A:
Look out folks! Dan Quayle's got a pair of safety scissors and he's ready to wreck swarthy vengeance on all those who've wronged him!
Artanas:
"Did you hear that Jill?" "Huh?" "Somebody just yelled 'lil buddy'!" "Oh hush." "There it goes aga... ack! There's an island on your head!"