Shimmergloom:
I can't believe it took four bullets to shut that crying baby up.
Angel_Noir:
"Is that what I think it is?" "Yeah, I did just what you told me to." "Son, when I said 'Take care of Grandma,' I didn't mean *TAKE* care of her!"
JediClone:
"Tonight on Rescue 911:" "I got a paper cut!" "Why aren't we getting better stories?" "We would Mr. Shatner, but the participants are afraid they'd haveta meet you."
keogh:
Sharon knew she couldn't go on like this, decapitating her husbands and sticking their heads in bowling bags. She knew she needed to give up bowling.
E_B_A:
Look out folks! Dan Quayle's got a pair of safety scissors and he's ready to wreck swarthy vengeance on all those who've wronged him!
Artanas:
"Did you hear that Jill?" "Huh?" "Somebody just yelled 'lil buddy'!" "Oh hush." "There it goes aga... ack! There's an island on your head!"
E_B_A:
Like it or not, this IS an ad for Windex... uhhh... parents. You may want your kids to leave the room.
Mr13:
"Cum by ya M'lord...Cumb by-Arrrrh....Arrrrgh Arrrrgh!!!"
GuloGulo:
Even though he now held the world's record for balancing a doggie turd on his upper lip for three weeks straight, Richard still wasn't happy.
E_B_A:
If Agent_Moldy was bringing us two scoops of raisens...
GersonK:
"FOUR chambers!? Good thing I checked that out before going in there."
Artanas:
Dammit, this Christmas "I" want a Tickle Me Gwenyth doll!
echostation:
"Come have a look at this, Zeke....The boy's got an electric pencil sharpener in his ear!"
Artanas:
"Kees me! Kees me!" "Umm Dad? What are you doing?" "Kee... hey, knock next time! Bah!"
HanoverF:
"Let's not move." "Why? Do you want to bask in the moment? Remember this for a lifetime?." "No a scorpion just crawled up my pant leg."


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