This room reserved for Raymond Burr's sack lunch.

*RING!* "Hello... Michael. It's 3 in the- oh yeah. Yeah. I saw Part 6. Well I know it sucked but- Michael, calm down... Michael. Not Jamie Lee. Mich-"

"Door-to-door flasher, Ma'am."

"Sister... we need to talk about your vows..." "Don't bug me right now ya cruddy bastard! My soaps are on, I'm low on Jim Beam, and my son is crying."

"Flubber wishes happy birthday to..."

"With this ring, I thee *POP* Ack!" "Now would be a good time to bring up my lepresy no?"

When you absolutely positively have to get your porn on the go...

"Bub! You're the only one I will ever truly love!" "Nnnnghh..." "You said it, Tiger!"

"Put the pedal to the metal, Billy! Princess Di is getting away!"

"That's right sweetie! They ARE condoms! And they're part of this nutricious breakfast!" "Ick Dad! Condoms and milk!" "That's not milk!" "ICK! ICK ICK ICK ICK!"

"We are so lost. This field of corn is like a labyrinth." "My people call it maize."

Here we see a rather drunken Orson Wells has confused Neve Campbell for a giant stick of Juicy Fruit. John Lithgow looks on in amusement.

"Oh, I'm afraid the Death Star will be fully operational when your friends arrive."

"Death by Epcot Center? That's the dumbest thing I ever-" *RUMBLE*

"Grandma, are you giving Billy his bath." "Yes, dear." "You're not holding his head underwater again, are you?" "It's good for him. Stop squirming dammit..."

Rhea Perlman is... about to pleasure Danny Davito. Next slide...

Now, you go down this road a spell, turn right at the dead cow, left at the lot where the chruch burnt down, right again where the naked lady is chained up.

"You said there was smoke on it!" "Geez Bob, It's just a song! Literalist bastard!"

"No, Timmy, you've been a baaaaaaaaaaaad boy. And coal just isn't cutting it any more."

I'd like you better if you had enormous hooters, Brad.

It's never a good sign when you yank the handle and instead of bars or cherries, three black shapes appear and diseased rats pour from the slot machine.

Hey baby! The MALE is here...! ...Get it? The "male"? ...Hey! Anybody home?

Up next, Seal Clubbing with Don Lapre: "And you'll discover that with just the right amount of swing, you can make hundreds of dollars on the fur market alone!"

This week, on "Reporter Without a Clue": <back> "I will now attempt to get a word from the guy interviewing the celebrity..."

Your ankles look kinda swolen there, Ted... I bet that rope around your neck isn't helping any.

"Oh, Mr. Belvedere, won't you come back?" "No, I've had far too much of you stuffy rich people. You disgust me. I must return to nature!" *strips*

Kate Moss wanders in front of the camera, ruining the shot.