That's right phone number. I know you like it rough... a little titty twister for you... ah yeah, that's the stuff.

"Pay attention kiddies... Jim?" "Yessir?!" "Go fellatiate yourself." "Yessir!" "And that's one to grow on kiddies"

Carlton is so proud to show off his new "wife," Divine. Wait til you see what she can do with dog feces.

Carlton Sheets: Investor, Money Manager, Pool Toy, Flotation Device...

...but I hate Carlton ALL THE TIME!

"But if you wanna know where the real money is... you just... patty cake! Patty cake! Baker's man!" "Crap! Somebody get his medication! Another Nam flashback!"

"Ha ha ha ha! I will rule the world!!" "...NEXT!!"

It got real quiet when suddenly Al started to fart "Also Sparch Zartusa."

I DON'T GET IT!

"Pimping Lambchop was a great idea!"

...with hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk!

"One for each personality, right Sybil?" "Right Carlton." "Right Carlton." "Right Carlton." "Right Carlton." "Right Carlton..."

Especially since Carlton had her stuffed. Damn these Disclosure Laws.

...But enough about them. Let's get back to the people Mr. Cheets will sell property to...

I DON'T GET IT!

"The land Carlton sold us did triple in value, once we kicked the Indians off."

See that chalk outline? That took $10,000 of the closing cost!

Dammit, I study for 30 years and my 16 year old son becomes a respected surgeon. Tell me, coffee table, what would you suggest? Kill him? Well, you're the boss.

"Gee Ron! This sure doesn't TASTE like Grandma's cookies!" "That's because we've added the genitals of a litter of kittens into the batter!" "ICK!"

Mmmm mmmm, nothing says loving like a hot bowl of cement

"Now... earlier in the show, we skinned and cored these infant skulls for preprera-STOP THE BOOING! GEEZ!"

Chocolate dipped playing cards are fun and easy to make! They're perfect for rainy days, and kids love 'em!

"Arise! Arise seething Taskbar of doom! Do my bidding!" "Ah no Betty, try the mouse, only Bill Gates can make it work that way."