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09/27/26   
Like a friend you don't deserve


Rusty Klein

With the bombing of the British embassy in Turkey, terrorists are now striking targets in neighboring Islamic countries. What better way to win over your most potentially sympathetic audience than set off bombs next door! — Professor Jeremy Klein










Quote of the Day
“I have not yet begun to finish my senten…”

-John Paul Jones
Fortune 500 Cookie
Everything’s looking up this week, to avoid making eye contact with you. At long last it has become clear that your master’s degree in goat teasing was a total waste of time. Everyone knows sneezing into your sleeve is just good manners, you should try the same when you break wind. On the bright side, we showed a picture of you to a time-traveler who stopped by the office last week, and he said "Oh Jesus, that guy?" so apparently you’re well-known in the future. This week’s lucky gadgets: HP iPlaid (launching next week on clearance), Samsung MySlate laptop-sized smartphone, iRobot Chippy: Autonomous Quadrotor Personal Killdrone, Sonicareless dental apathy kit, Windows 7 Phone in Bluescreen Blue.

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Most Painful Music Lawsuits
1.Christopher Cross vs. Kris Kross (1992)
2.John Fogerty vs. John Fogerty (1985)
3.Warner Bros. vs. Pri.. The Ar.. That Guy Over There in the Pastel Pants (1994)
4.Michael Jackson vs. Insane Kahlil's Rhinoplasty (1987)
5.The Ghost of Nat "King" Cole vs. Natalie Cole (1991)
Archives
Oil to Iraq
The Army recently announced it was renegotiating Iraq contracts after Democrats raised questions about Halliburton bilking the government out of millions to import oil into Iraq. But of course, the Army says there's no truth to the rumors of... (11/10/03)

The Media Filter
President Bush has repeatedly the rebuilding of Iraq is going much smoother than the media would have us believe. Though the media is prone to sensationalism, is it really possible to "filter" in several attacks on civilian quarters, numerous dead... (10/27/03)

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