I really should consider changing the titles of these columns. The cEC (commune Enthusiasts Club, for all of you acronym-watchers!) has had way more than six meetings as of the time of this writing. About 125, according to my notes. Of course, only about half of those were attended by someone other than myself, usually my friend and cEC Torch-Bearer Sandy. Around five have had more than ourselves present, including our latest members. So that’s roundabout right then… six meetings. I’ll just keep the chronology in order. All of my friends know how anal I am. Which has nothing to do with being gay, so don’t send emails.

We had a disastrous time with the Easter parade float, don’t even ask. Let’s just say we won’t be contributing to anymore community affairs for a while, by order of the Shanesly city council. I probably deserve all the blame, it was my idea to watch Animal House at the meeting before the parade. Some of the more inventive members may have taken it as some sort of secret message on what I expected from the parade. In fact, that’s what they told me. But we did fish the Toyota out of Lake Murty and we’ve seen Sandy’s brother driving it around town, so the damage couldn’t have been as bad as he claimed. Heh… listen to me! I make it sound like we’re a couple of Omar Bricks in the club. Nothing so dramatic, really. We’ve only wrecked one… maybe two cars, but that’s a high count.

It did get us some free attention, on the front page of the Shanesly Observer, and you know what they say about bad press. Well, Sandy says it’s ruined all chances of her (and me, but mostly her) having a normal life, but she was soaking wet with lake water, so you have to give her some room for a lousy mood. I think we’ll get a few new members out of it. We’ve already got one, if you can count the deputy who’s been sitting in on our meetings ever since. He says he’s there out of genuine curiosity, while Sandy (Little Miss Negativity) says he’s there because he thinks we’re communist insurgents.

“Where would he get that idea?” I asked her when she said that.

“Duh,” she said, which is about her favorite response.

It’s true, we’re called the commune Enthusiasts Club, and we’ve made up emblems and everything and stated our club name proudly when we entered the parade. But I don’t know where you get communism out of the name commune Enthusiasts Club. That’s just ignorance. I told Sandy that, and she said I can tell the cops how ignorant they are while they’re beating the hell out of me with rubber hoses in the back room of their “Special Terrorist Interrogation Room.” Little Miss Negativity indeed.

So that’s a new member. I suppose, though, if I’m going to count him I should also count Ray’s parole officer. So it’s either two new members or we’re still at the same number. Ray, Vera, Lucas, Homeless Gary, and Sandy, who asked again not to be counted. I’m an optimist, so I say two new members! That puts us at 8, and I think once the city ban on public activity is forgotten, we’ll probably double that with all the shy commune enthusiasts coming out of the woodwork.

Boy, here I am prattling on about club business and I haven’t even heaped any praise on the commune yet. I wanted to commend the editors and reporters for keeping their head together on all this “Pope’s dead” business. I suspected even before I read the commune’s coverage that it was all a sophisticated ruse to pump up the stagnant media and hide the world-weary Pope from the public, and I was proven right, as usual. The nice thing about being a commune fan is, sooner or later, you’re always proven right.

See you all next time, commune Enthusiasts!