The Third commune Enthusiasts Club Meeting
by Emil Zender 

This has been a wild year for the commune Enthusiasts club and myself personally, President and Founder Emil Zender. Not only did we start the club, we met some great new members and lost even more. None died, which is always good, but some have disappeared and won’t respond to my calls, while others have said they regret not being able to come to any more meetings and wish I would stop trying to get in touch with them. Some, admittedly, were asked to leave. Nothing personal, but it’s hard to focus on club business when some unnamed individuals in the back just want to have a laugh, often at your expense.

My one regret for the year was not getting back to you, the loyal voyeurs, more often. But I made a pledge short into our tenure I would only write about meetings when someone besides myself showed up. So you can believe I was happy to see Sandy and some of our other club members come to another meeting before the end of the year.

I’m also happy to say our membership has expanded since last briefing. We’re officially at 623 members right now, and 14 of those members have written back to confirm their membership in the club. Stag and Christopher made good on their promise to return to the club, and even started making plans for a club field trip to protest a WTO conference this Spring. We’re still talking about that one. Besides the troublemakers I previously mentioned, we’ve also got some quiet remembers who aren’t quite ready to tell us their names yet. There’s that hungry lady who partook heavily of the free food table we set up. She was dressed a little down, and I’m not judging when I say that. Lord knows the homeless aren’t considered any less important as members of the group. If she is homeless, which is not a bad thing, though I would be presumptuous to say she is based only on a fairly casual outfit and a smell we couldn’t quite locate.

The club is also expecting a boost in dues when Sandy fills her spare change jar, having previously pledged to pay her long coming dues at that time. We’ll put that money to good use, like catering for future meetings or events. I won’t even take any of that money for myself, even though to date I have spent nearly two-thousand dollars out of my own pocket to provide the free food and renting concert halls.

Not that I’m complaining. I certainly don’t agree with my father’s assessment the commune Enthusiasts Club is an unrelenting drain on a life once filled with promise. I set out to change the world, as the commune does, with my Club, and even though I have no idea how to do that or if it’s even possible, I like to think in some small way I have. But not alone—with the help of all our members. Admittedly, most of it was me. If it’s only me showing up to the monthly meetings, I mean, I’m not blowing my horn or claiming it’s all me. Mostly. Like 60-40. Only much more on one side and much less. I’m not exaggerating, I think. If anyone else had shown up to the meetings more frequently, I believe they would back me up on this.

However, if you thought this was a big year, wait until next year. And please show up. Yes, I’m talking to you. I know not everybody is in the area of Shanesly, Vermont during the appropriate time of the month, but if you’re within a close distance, make the trip. Drive, or fly, if you can afford it. If you’re a fan of the commune, it’s worth it. Actually, if you’re not a fan of the commune, but have read it before and would like to debate any points, go ahead and come on out. I would even say if you haven’t heard of the commune, but would like more information, come and join me. Us. Join us and we’ll discuss the salient points of commune fandom, and all the free food you can eat. Well, it’s not free, it costs me quite a bit. But free for you. That’s the c.E.C. promise.

The Second commune Enthusiasts Club Meeting
Besides the glaring absence of Editor Red Bagel being the big speedbump in the commune road right now, and the faltering quality that has followed, as commune Enthusiasts (capitalization intentional) we should be considering the efforts by major press junkets to lock the commune out of press meetings and other legitimate-press events.

The First commune Enthusiasts Club Meeting
Exuberant salutations, commune Clubbers! Founder, President, and Acting-Motivational Speaker Emil Zender present and accounted for. Where are you?