American Afghans Apprehended, Interred In Camps Controversial concentration pounds activated BYRAMROD HURLEY Plimpton, CT
RAMROD HURLEY for the commune
Interred Afghan American Kiwi
In a controversial move, Congress has barely passed a bill
allowing the arrest and internment of thousands of American-born
Afghans in “government pounds.”
The Afghan, a popular breed of mid-size long-haired dog, was
reportedly introduced to America several years ago by Chinese
guys who brought them here originally to eat them, reported
commune Research Editor Griswald Dreck. Also, horses were
originally introduced to our country as indentured servants.
Dog Fancy magazine estimates the number of interred Afghans
could reach 5,000 before the end of the week. Already several
Afghans face additional charges of disobeying the new law by not
reporting their whereabouts.
“We said, ‘Sit. Stay.’ And these dogs have disobeyed,” said
Attorney General John Ashcroft. “Bad dogs. Bad, bad dogs.”
Across the United States, pet owners and sympathizers are
outraged by what they call an unfounded, prejudicial law.
“These dogs are good Americans,” said Nancy Martin, owner of
three Afghans interred because of the new law. “Mumu, Gaia, and
Kiwi were born right here in this country. They eat American
food, they wear American-made sweaters and make bad on American
rugs. Not Persian. Certainly not Afghanese. Bad dogs? I say,
‘Bad lawmakers. Bad, bad lawmakers.’”
the commune News believes in socially responsible reporting and our staff
practices safe sex at least seven times a day. Ramrod Hurley is a freelance
journalist, photographer, and according to Lil Duncan, "Poppinazi". Ramrod
is reporting for the commune news while he searches out a publisher for his
new book, "If These Tits Could Talk: A Lil Duncan Biography".
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