E_B_A:
"Hi! Uh... Mr. Artanas. I'm Carlton, your interviewer." "Carlton, uh Sheets?" "Yes." "For my job interview." "*evil chuckle* Yes." *OMINOUS HORNS*
Angel_Noir:
*thinking* "That's right, Ms. District Attorney, you know you want it..."
E_B_A:
"Now gettin' the torso through is the tough part, see? But once ya got the lower extremities into those whirling blades- whooboy! Talk about yer gravy..."
AgentQ:
John was not pleased. His alarm doesn't go off, his shower is cold, his car doesn't start and now he's stuck in a fucking tar pit while running late for work.
JediClone:
Tired of being necked by all her boyfriends, Cindy brings some "protection."
Tumbler:
"You had a wall lamp stuffed and mounted? Cool!"
Angel_Noir:
"Soylent Green is Peephole!" NEXT!
HanoverF:
Great scott! My body rejected the babboon heart!
Hippie:
Nothing sucks more than being a mermaid who's late for the A train.
Artanas:
Somehow, this version of The Boy Is Mine seems more acceptable...
DoctorRot:
Burger King humans are flamebroiled, not fried.
floater:
FREEZE! Would you like a piece of Juicy Fruit?
Artanas:
"Pol Pot? Why?"
E_B_A:
"Your honor! I contest this case on the grounds that I have been dead for several years..."
DancingQueen:
"Once upon a time, there was an sewer system that needed an upgrade..." "Dad, I want a GOOD bedtime story!"
Angel_Noir:
The lightbulbs are restrained for their own safety.
Cerg:
She wasn't nearly so smug when the airbag failed to deploy
Cerg:
"What are you doing dear?" "Me and Tommy are doing the Traci Lord's workout video." "That's NOT her workout video dear." "He LIED to me!"
Cleo256:
"Geez, mom. I just have a cold. The assisted suicide beverage is a bit premature, don't you think?"
E_B_A:
"Well honey... it says here that you're not pregnant..." "I don't think that's a reliable pregnancy test." "The 8-Ball doesn't lie, baby..."
Dairai:
Activity time, kids! Can you spot the Journey fan in this picture before your friends do?
E_B_A:
It's the Trojan Condom Mascot, Robbie the Rubber! "Have safe sex kids! Hyuck!"
Artanas:
Meanwhile, Chase Masterson quitely thinks...
treefrog:
Early LSD testings of NASCAR.
Angel_Noir:
"Man! I love the Literalist Universe!"
E_B_A:
"Mom! Take that stuff off now!" "But I'm RocketMan!" "Stop it Mom! I'm at work! Go home!" "I'm RocketMan! ZOOM!" "That's it Mom! I'm calling the police!" "ZOOM!"
AgentQ:
"The visitors! The visitors are coming! I knew this day would arrive! I welcome you, my space brothers! I...hmm, that ship's coming in pretty fas--" *SPLAT*
E_B_A:
"Oh joy! I've perfected my new formula for Napalm Brite 3000! I can't wait to show the boss!" *TRIP!*
Artanas:
"See, I told ya you'd like campin' hon!"
ReynardTFox:
I see their Chia-House is coming along nicely...
Artanas:
"...and let that be a lesson to ya Frosty! Nobody... nobody takes my hat!"
E_B_A:
NEW from Certs! Condom-mints! Sex! Then fresh breath! May be illegal in some states.
HanoverF:
"Whats that little sci-fi logo? I should kiss her? Ignore the restraining order? No does mean yes? I thought so!"
E_B_A:
Tonight on "Lynched by an Angel..."
quickdraw:
The Frankenstein Monster finally got the cooking show he's always dreamed of.
E_B_A:
"Still wets the bed, huh? Maybe this FERRET will help ma'am. It can sever skin and muscle tissue faster than you can blink..." "Hm... I hadn't thought of that."
E_B_A:
"Well Timmy... you were right after all. Just because a kid is in an oxygen tent doesn't mean he can't experience the thrill of camping. Timmy? Timmy?"
TravisBickle:
"Well we admire your individuality honey, but elective brain surgery?" "You just wanna keep me down mom! I'm an adult! *ZZZZT!* Ow! Damn side effects."
E_B_A:
"What kind of archeologist ARE YOU Smithers!? This is a major find!" "It's a corpse! A human corpse!" "But look how intact it is!" "I think I'm gonna be sick!"
TravisBickle:
Rather than write out tickets, Officer Smith just pulled people over and showed them how a mail-order art school taught him to draw Zippy the Turtle.
E_B_A:
"Velma! Nooo! And in cold blood!" "We shall avenge her death!" "Rrriiight!" C'mon, Scooby... to the Mystery Machine!"
clover:
Sylvester! I told you to leave poor Tweety alone!
E_B_A:
"Senator? About the tax reforms!?" "Senator! Mr. Senator! Any comment on the crime bill!?" "Senator! Want a lollypop?"
TravisBickle:
"Been gnawing away at your digits again?" "Only three to go."
E_B_A:
"Well!" "Well..." "Well?" "WELL!?" "WEEEEEEELLLLLLL!" "Wheel!" "Fortune!" "Fish tank!" "Fist me!" "WHAT!?" "Well..."
