Bob tried to hide his anger when someone else showed up at the office Christmas party dressed as a fat slob.

"Well, what do you think of the pic? Keep in mind I don't 'really' have a staple in my belly button."

"You got promoted over me? You?!? What are your qualifications?" "I'm an excellent driver, definately, definately an excellent driver. K-Mart sucks." "Well shit."

"Do you have any comment on the police beating in-" "What's your stand on the new tax-" "Can you say hello to my pet turtle?" ... "WHO LET KOLCHAK IN HERE?!"

See, mom? You left yourself wide open to that one! I was right behind you with the bat! Never let anybody get the upperhand like that!

My worst fears confirmed... Kolchak's collected ten years worth of fan mail, and he's gonna roll around nude in it...

"Ouch!" "Carl, it seems odd to me that you always seem to 'accidentally' back into my pen set whenever you enter my office..." "Ow!"

Everyone hung their heads in shame as Carl pranced around on his new hobby horse.

"Have you dug up any leads?" "Are they in my nose too?" "Get out of my office, Carl!"

"Wow! A Heinz 57! Great year!"

Hot on the lead of a helpful old lady, Carl now has a rock-solid trail on finding "the beef."

"Uhhh, Carl.I very much doubt Art Linkletter PERSONALY wanted to share his love of Craftmatic Adjustable Beds with you and your proposal is just plain obscene."

Carl throws a Surpise Yardsale.

How appropriate. I'd vote for a guy named Talcum to become the Goo Governor.

Never a cannibal before, Carl was now strangely hungry for Talbot. Advertising never worked like it was supposed to on Kolchak...