WikiMsting/Episode 2/Script

Part 1

00:05 {music plays, clock ticks} Tina: "You can come out of the isolation booth now!"

00:07 {leaky faucet} Matt: "10:15 on a Saturday night" --Matteus 14 Jan

00:16 {Shot of sleeping androgyne in eyemask} Jazz: "It's time to play 'Guess that Gender'! The blindfold is in place, and would our mystery guest sign in please!" --YibbleGuy 09:47, 13 January 2007 (EST)

00:24 {Alarm goes off} Gerson: o/~ Wake up and smell the caffeine in your bank account --GersonK 13:51, 13 January 2007 (EST)

00:29 (ringing continues) Tina: "She better answer her phone" (hand grabs clock) "oh" -- Matteus

00:37 [As soon as woman's foot appears] Matt: HONEY WEST! --GersonK 13:51, 13 January 2007 (EST)

00:37 {woman walks down the stairs to the beat of the jazzy music} Jazz: "Everyone should have Brian Setzer around to play your theme music" ---- Pumaman2o

00:55 {the jazzy theme switches slightly to more jazz and we see instant coffee being made} Arch: "Peter Gunn's coffee is made" --- Pumaman2o

00:58 (spooning & spilling coffee) Matt: Coffee: It’s what’s for dinner. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

01:02 {Third spoonfull into pot, plenty of grounds are visible on the counter} Gerson: "Uhh miss? Miss, you're spilling it. "--GersonK 13:51, 13 January 2007 (EST) Tina: "Give her a break, she hasn't had her coffee yet." --Matteus 14 Jan

1:10 Narr: "Is this coffee?" Tina: [Confused] Umm, yes? Narr: "No!"" Tina: [Momentarily convinced] Ok. Wait, what? Narr: "This is coffee" [Lost] Huhnh? --GersonK 13:51, 13 January 2007 (EST) Narr: "Is this coffee? Why, no--THIS is coffee" Gerson: "I thought Pam Grier was Coffy."--YibbleGuy 19:14, 8 January 2007 (EST)

1:19 {Over "The Coffee Brewing Institute presents"} Matt: In asociation with the RAND Corporation --GersonK 13:51, 13 January 2007 (EST)

1:21 (This is Coffee! Title) Jazz: A David St. Hubbins Production. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

1:24 ("Produced by..." on screen) Arch: "Who spit in my coffee?" --Matteus 14 Jan

1:25 {"Produced by Vision Associates" credit} Tina: "Followed by: 'The Story of Optometry,' Produced by Juan Valdez." --YibbleGuy 21:44, 14 January 2007

1:32 (Beans spilling "Our story begins here…") Jazz: Beneath the latrines at the Rabbit Academy… --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

1:41 {... caught in the closed fist of the bean, freed then by ...} Matt: "... the 13th Amendment."--YibbleGuy 18:53, 10 January 2007 (EST)

1:44 (endless cascade. Brewed…) Gerson: Brewed to be rude, baby. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

1:48 ("...millions of cupfuls each day") Arch: "...and served in tiny frying pans." --Matteus 14 Jan

1:49 (millions of cupfuls each day) Jazz: in this house alone. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

1:54 (Three cups on table "so much a part of our lives") Tina: Kiiiids! Coffee’s on! --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

1:59 ("Reaches deeply into the culture of many lands") Matt: "must be talking about coffee enemas" --Matteus 17 Jan

2:09 {"From tree ..."} Jazz: o/` "... to shining tree." o/`--YibbleGuy 17:28, 12 January 2007 (EST)

2:11 {shot of single male bean picker} Arch: "Juan Valdez's not so smarter brother" ----- Pumaman2o

2:15 (guys just picking beans) Tina: "It's the Coffee Bean Mambo!" --Matteus 14 Jan

2:18 (long shot of guys picking beans)

• cow milking sounds* --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

Gerson & Arch: (cow noises) Arch & SFX: (milk into buckets)

2:24 {two men pouring beans into a sack} Matt: (as guy on right) 'Hey Earl, we can have a sack race later' [as in 'Earl' from any number of MST3K shorts, say Truck Farmer ] ---Pumaman2o

2:27 (dumping beans in bag) Jazz: Unbreakable gumball machine my ass! Heh heh. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

2:45 {"... to which the talents of millions of men are devoted during their lifetime."} Matt: "These *women* slaving away are secondary, unimportant creatures." --YibbleGuy/GersonK

2:48 {"...to which tradition..."} Gerson: o/~ Tradition! --GersonK 00:32, 15 January 2007 (EST)

2:55 (man shakes his head over cup) Tina: [in a patronising voice] "No, you're not good coffee at all! no" --Matteus 14 Jan

Part 2

3:01 (man leans into the next one) Arch: *loud snorting* --Matteus 14 Jan

3:07 (a flavor that is just right.) Gerson: Nosehair. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

03:12 {"...around the world..."} Jazz: 0/~ Pretty ladies, I got a weird thing to show you --GersonK 00:32, 15 January 2007 (EST)

3:14 ("...many forms") Tina: "Usually liquid form" --Matteus 14 Jan

3:19 {pictures from Paris "... A dream expressed in Cafe Au Lait" } Tina+Gerson: "ole" ---Pumaman2o

3:25 {"Half coffee and half hot milk"} Matt: "...and all evil!" --GersonK 13:51, 13 January 2007 (EST)

3:35 {"much like cafe au lait"} Tina+Gerson: "Ole!" --Matteus 14 Jan

3:41 {"and a sprinkle of grated orange peel) Jazz: And a dead crab. Just for kicks! --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

3:50 {"The music of old Vienna--in a cup!"} Matt: "Puree of Mozart."--YibbleGuy 18:49, 10 January 2007 (EST)

3:55 {"drift of whipped cream"} Jazz: And an out-of-control hydroplane into Cool Whip. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

4:03 {"...the mystery of Istanbul..."} Gerson: Not Constantinople --GersonK 00:32, 15 January 2007 (EST)

4:06 {"The mystery of Istanbul ... in Turkish coffee."} Matt: "Midnight Expresso."--YibbleGuy 19:45, 8 January 2007 (EST)

4:09 (Hiding the rich, sweet broo) Arch: …d. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

4:15 (served black) Jazz: like your servants. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

4:17 (in tiny cups) Tina: like your wife. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

4:18 ("plenty of sugar") Matt: "Like my men." --Matteus 14 Jan

{We didn't entirely clear up how much this depending on Matt's first 'like my men'. We've got a weird order on this run .}

4:22 ("but always it is coffee") Matt: "what the fuck dude? you just told me that it wasn't!" --Matteus 14 Jan

4:31 Narr: ...success lies in a single word..." Gerson: Coffee? Narr: ...care Gerson: Whatever. --GersonK 00:32, 15 January 2007 (EST)

4:39 (three simple ingredients) Jazz: Gas station men’s room tap water… --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

4:43 (Coffee) Tina: Grandma… --Jazzsoda 21 Jan [That would be best if it can be fit, as soon as the "grounds" are visible, but it can work any time you can see the coffee. --Jazz ]

4:45 {"... water, coffee, time"} Matt: o/` "Are you goin' to Scarborough Fair?/ Parsley, Water, Coffee, and Time .... " o/'--YibbleGuy 19:52, 8 January 2007 (EST)

4:54 {"The beginning is the coffeepot."} Tina: "And the Word was with the coffeepot. And the Word was the coffeepot."--YibbleGuy

4:54 (is the coffee pot) Jazz: Steal as many as you can find. Make a game of it! --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

5:04 {Bulbous double coffee pot - the first one} Arch: Tom Servo's cousin! --GersonK 00:32, 15 January 2007 (EST)

5:10 (hourglass shaped pot) Tina: "This one doubles as a still." --Matteus 14 Jan

5:20 {"To make a good cup of coffee, your coffee maker must be clean"} Gerson: "As must your soul"

5:24 (from that last pot of coffee) Jazz: as well as skin mites, dandruff, and herpes. --Jazzsoda 21 Jan

5:29 {"Ready to begin its work anew--fresh, and really clean!"} Arch: "Much like a freshly douched vagina."--YibbleGuy 20:01, 8 January 2007 (EST)

5:39 ("Water.") Matt: (in same narrator voice) "Thirsty, sick man." --Matteus 14 Jan

5:43 {"Too much? Or too little?"} Tina: "Because 'just right' is simply not an option."--YibbleGuy 20:03, 8 January 2007 (EST)

5:49 (or not at all!) Jazz: Fuggit! Don’t let them tell you what is and what isn’t coffee! *HIC* --Jazzsoda 21 Jan [This one may need to be tightened to handle Yibble's]

5:51 {weirdly overemphatic "How Long"} Arch: "How long, O Lord, how long! THY WICKEDNESS IS A SNARE UNTO ME, BABYLON!"--YibbleGuy

5:57 (Same as above) Tina: "Ah, Catholic Coffee" --Matteus 14 Jan

5:59 {"Water: the first element"} Matt: "Can you tell that I failed high-school chemistry?"--YibbleGuy 21:52, 14 January 2007 (EST)