Difference between revisions of "AgentQ"

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m (Linked to the night shift article. Just to piss off Q)
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|AltHandles=I took to using BrianQ near the end of my time at Caption This. I'm not sure why; clearly my affection for my original handle is evident from my comments above.
 
|AltHandles=I took to using BrianQ near the end of my time at Caption This. I'm not sure why; clearly my affection for my original handle is evident from my comments above.
  
|MyStuff=Brian Poobelt (born August 18, 1827) is an [[American]] [[capper]], better known by the [[handle]] '''AgentQ''', and also as [[That Dipshit Over There]]. A [[Caption This]] veteran, he is currently a member of the [[Night shift|Saturday Nightshift]]. Everything he touches dies, and his sexual perversions are legion. He hates it when other people edit his [[Wikipedia]] profile.
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|MyStuff=Brian Poobelt (born August 18, 1827) is an American [[capper]], better known by the handle '''AgentQ''', and also as That Dipshit Over There. A [[Caption This]] veteran, he is currently a member of the [[Night shift|Saturday Nightshift]]. Everything he touches dies, and his sexual perversions are legion. He hates it when other people edit his Wikipedia profile.
  
 
==Background==
 
==Background==
A [[reincarnation]] of the divine [[Quetzalcoatl]] made flesh, AgentQ was born in a small wooden shack near a sexually active [[volcano]] in downtown [[Utah]]. His mother was not present at the time. His childhood was spent watching [[Masters Of The Universe]] and bludgeoning [[mole-rats]]. His first word was reportedly "[[Ombudsman]]." [http://www.avclub.com/content/node/55840]
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A reincarnation of the divine Quetzalcoatl made flesh, AgentQ was born in a small wooden shack near a sexually active volcano in downtown Utah. His mother was not present at the time. His childhood was spent watching Masters Of The Universe and bludgeoning mole-rats. His first word was reportedly "Ombudsman." [http://www.avclub.com/content/node/55840]
  
In second grade, AgentQ began an affair with his teacher, which was [[awesome]]. By eighth grade he'd lost his [[virginity]], but he called his friends for help and was able to find it again. Carl, I know you drank the last [[beer]], and if you don't fess up I will beat the living shit out of you.
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In second grade, AgentQ began an affair with his teacher, which was awesome. By eighth grade he'd lost his virginity, but he called his friends for help and was able to find it again. Carl, I know you drank the last beer, and if you don't fess up I will beat the living shit out of you.
  
AgentQ's high school experience mirrored ''[[My So-Called Life]]'' exactly, right down to the [[red hair that wouldn't stay tucked behind the fucking ears]]. In college, he majored in not attending classes. By the time he graduated, he was as old as [[Dustin Hoffman]] in ''[[The Graduate]]''.
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AgentQ's high school experience mirrored ''My So-Called Life'' exactly, right down to the red hair that wouldn't stay tucked behind the fucking ears. In college, he majored in not attending classes. By the time he graduated, he was as old as Dustin Hoffman in ''The Graduate''.
  
 
==Captioneering==
 
==Captioneering==
  
AgentQ began [[capping]] at an early age, by writing [[obscenities]] and crude [[innuendos]] underneath emotionally shattering [[newspaper photographs]]. Eventually, he learned what a [[computer]] was, and discovered a site related to the comedy series ''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' that allowed him to add [[snark]] to the digital world. Uniting with like-minded brethren, he proved how [[totally retarded]] he was. Yeah, you heard me. Eat shit. Love, [[Jazzsoda]].
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AgentQ began [[capping]] at an early age, by writing obscenities and crude innuendos underneath emotionally shattering newspaper photographs. Eventually, he learned what a computer was, and discovered a site related to the comedy series ''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' that allowed him to add snark to the digital world. Uniting with like-minded brethren, he proved how totally retarded he was. Yeah, you heard me. Eat shit. Love, [[Jazzsoda]].
  
In his plentiful time on [[Caption This]] and later [[Inventing Situations]], AgentQ hasn't made any lasting contributions, and isn't nearly as funny as [[Sir_Fartsalot]], the [[badassingest]] [[capper]] around, whose [[thread]] "[[Hey, that's a turd!]]" set the capping world on fire in late 2006. You all know it. [http://www.hedonistica.com/images/2006/02/fart-light.jpg]  
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In his plentiful time on [[Caption This]] and later [[Inventing Situations]], AgentQ hasn't made any lasting contributions, and isn't nearly as funny as [[Sir_Fartsalot]], the badassingest [[capper]] around, whose thread "Hey, that's a turd!" set the capping world on fire in late 2006. You all know it. [http://www.hedonistica.com/images/2006/02/fart-light.jpg]  
  
AgentQ's whereabouts are currently unknown. He was last seen buying a shake at a [[White Castle]] in [[Kenosha]], Wisconsin. He is presumed dead, which was incidentally going to be the title of a planned sequel to ''[[Presumed Innocent]]'' that never got off the ground. Hey, that's a turd!
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AgentQ's whereabouts are currently unknown. He was last seen buying a shake at a White Castle in Kenosha, Wisconsin. He is presumed dead, which was incidentally going to be the title of a planned sequel to ''Presumed Innocent'' that never got off the ground. Hey, that's a turd!
  
 
==Videography==
 
==Videography==
  
AgentQ has hosted numerous [[game shows]], the faggot, including the following:
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AgentQ has hosted numerous game shows, the faggot, including the following:
  
*''[[You Bet Your Ass]]''
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*''You Bet Your Ass''
*''[[Press Your Luck Up Against The Glass, Yeah Like That, Oh, Baby]]''
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*''Press Your Luck Up Against The Glass, Yeah Like That, Oh, Baby''
*''[[Love Conniption]]''
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*''Love Conniption''
*''[[Tic Tac D'oh]]''
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*''Tic Tac D'oh''
*''[[The Match Game]]''
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*''The Match Game''
  
[[Category:1976 births|AgentQ]]
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Category:1976 births
[[Category:Living people|AgentQ]]
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Category:Living people
[[Category:American cappers|AgentQ]]
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Category:American cappers
[[Category:American humorists|AgentQ]]
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Category:American humorists
[[Category:American buffalo|AgentQ]]
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Category:American buffalo
[[Category:American pie|AgentQ]]
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Category:American pie
[[Category:American werewolves in London|AgentQ]]
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Category:American werewolves in London
[[Category:American teetotalers who didn't know there was a term for such a thing until only a little while ago and am only one out of simple personal preference rather than some kind of grandstanding morality|AgentQ]]
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Category:American teetotalers who didn't know there was a term for such a thing until only a little while ago and am only one out of simple personal preference rather than some kind of grandstanding morality
[[Category:American atheists|AgentQ]]
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Category:American atheists
[[Category:American humanists|AgentQ]]
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Category:American humanists
[[Category:White people|AgentQ]]
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Category:White people
[[Category:People who don't have a driver's license|AgentQ]]
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Category:People who don't have a driver's license
[[Category:Nearsighted people|AgentQ]]
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Category:Nearsighted people
[[Category:People from Milwaukee, Wisconsin|AgentQ]]
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Category:People from Milwaukee, Wisconsin
[[Category:Irritating people|AgentQ]]
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Category:Irritating people
[[Category:People known by pseudonyms|AgentQ]]
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Category:People known by pseudonyms
[[Category:Doctor Who fans|AgentQ]]
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Category:Doctor Who fans
[[Category:Professional wrestling fans|AgentQ]]
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Category:Professional wrestling fans
[[Category:People who pester other people to watch Veronica Mars|AgentQ]]
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Category:People who pester other people to watch Veronica Mars
[[Category:Slippery people|AgentQ]]
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Category:Slippery people
  
  

Revision as of 16:28, 24 January 2007

Meet the Cappers

AgentQ
  • Handle: AgentQ
  • Real Name: Brian Reubelt
  • D.O.B.: April 27
  • Occupation: Benefit analyst
  • Marital Status: Single
  • Kids: Nope
  • Handle Origin: Oh dear. The less attention we pay to my lameass generic "I need a handle quick" handle, the better. If I'd known it would still be with me nearly ten years later, I'd have put something vaguely resembling a thought into it.
  • Alternate Handle(s): I took to using BrianQ near the end of my time at Caption This. I'm not sure why; clearly my affection for my original handle is evident from my comments above.
  • You Can Find Me Capping: I'll tell you later

Personal info

Brian Poobelt (born August 18, 1827) is an American capper, better known by the handle AgentQ, and also as That Dipshit Over There. A Caption This veteran, he is currently a member of the Saturday Nightshift. Everything he touches dies, and his sexual perversions are legion. He hates it when other people edit his Wikipedia profile.

Background

A reincarnation of the divine Quetzalcoatl made flesh, AgentQ was born in a small wooden shack near a sexually active volcano in downtown Utah. His mother was not present at the time. His childhood was spent watching Masters Of The Universe and bludgeoning mole-rats. His first word was reportedly "Ombudsman." [1]

In second grade, AgentQ began an affair with his teacher, which was awesome. By eighth grade he'd lost his virginity, but he called his friends for help and was able to find it again. Carl, I know you drank the last beer, and if you don't fess up I will beat the living shit out of you.

AgentQ's high school experience mirrored My So-Called Life exactly, right down to the red hair that wouldn't stay tucked behind the fucking ears. In college, he majored in not attending classes. By the time he graduated, he was as old as Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate.

Captioneering

AgentQ began capping at an early age, by writing obscenities and crude innuendos underneath emotionally shattering newspaper photographs. Eventually, he learned what a computer was, and discovered a site related to the comedy series Mystery Science Theater 3000 that allowed him to add snark to the digital world. Uniting with like-minded brethren, he proved how totally retarded he was. Yeah, you heard me. Eat shit. Love, Jazzsoda.

In his plentiful time on Caption This and later Inventing Situations, AgentQ hasn't made any lasting contributions, and isn't nearly as funny as Sir_Fartsalot, the badassingest capper around, whose thread "Hey, that's a turd!" set the capping world on fire in late 2006. You all know it. [2]

AgentQ's whereabouts are currently unknown. He was last seen buying a shake at a White Castle in Kenosha, Wisconsin. He is presumed dead, which was incidentally going to be the title of a planned sequel to Presumed Innocent that never got off the ground. Hey, that's a turd!

Videography

AgentQ has hosted numerous game shows, the faggot, including the following:

  • You Bet Your Ass
  • Press Your Luck Up Against The Glass, Yeah Like That, Oh, Baby
  • Love Conniption
  • Tic Tac D'oh
  • The Match Game

Category:1976 births Category:Living people Category:American cappers Category:American humorists Category:American buffalo Category:American pie Category:American werewolves in London Category:American teetotalers who didn't know there was a term for such a thing until only a little while ago and am only one out of simple personal preference rather than some kind of grandstanding morality Category:American atheists Category:American humanists Category:White people Category:People who don't have a driver's license Category:Nearsighted people Category:People from Milwaukee, Wisconsin Category:Irritating people Category:People known by pseudonyms Category:Doctor Who fans Category:Professional wrestling fans Category:People who pester other people to watch Veronica Mars Category:Slippery people

Links