- Handle: Widget
- Real Name: Jeff Myers
- D.O.B.: unknown
- Occupation: unknown
- Marital Status: unknown
- Kids: unknown
- Handle Origin: unknown
- Alternate Handle(s): unknown
- You Can Find Me Capping: I'll tell you later
Capper Heaven is where the screengrab machine never goes black.
It's where Linda Carter finally takes off that ugly top.
It's where you can make fun of Star Trek 24-7 and never hit the same episode
twice, and never have to use a toupee joke more than once. (Unless you want
It's where the Internet connection is never slow and it never breaks.
It's where the cheesy poofs, chocolate, and caffeinated beverages flow like
milk and honey.
It's where you never have to put up with a dark SFC original movie.
It's where you NEVER have to cap the same commercial more than once.
(Unless you want to.)
It's where all the people in the gallery with you are having an incredibly
It's where your keyboard never sticks and your computer never freezes up.
It's where you never have to put up with mediocre jokes or anyone named
"deadlyringer". (Unless you want to -- though why you'd want to is anyone's
And, in Capper Heaven, Mystery Science Theater 3000 will never, never, never