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 Goob: "The Juiceman Show was filmed in front of a bribed studio audience." |  keogh: "Oh, man, those knees! I gotta juice those knees!" |  GuloGulo: "Geeaahhh!! Be calm, friends, the searing abdominal pain I'm experiencing has nothing to do with my 100% juice diet." |  Jazzsoda: That's it! We'll juice this bush here! You got to get a little crazy every now and again folks, take my word on that. |  GuloGulo: You've got to grab life by the god-damned balls, you wusses. |
 Jazzsoda: *tsss* Yeah, right. That's not real fruit. You can see the wires. |  Jazzsoda: *high voice* "Oh baby, give it to me!" *deep voice* "Oh yeah, you're gonna get the whole thing, here it comes!" "Juice baby, juice!" |  Hippie: ...And now we just decide what fruit we use. Don't beg for your life, grapefruit! It doesn't become you! What's that, little orange? No...there will be no pain! |  Jazzsoda: I used to bleed from the anus daily before I bought my Juicemaster! Thanks Juiceman! |  Hippie: Hey! Juice Man! This isn't no orange juice I ever tasted! And you didn't even put any fruit in the machine, that's a--hey! You're a fraud! |
 GuloGulo: *SMELL* my luscious odor! No cheap soda pop can give you *this* aroma! |  GuloGulo: Now, the artichoke's mating call is extremely hard to duplicate...fwwwarsch! fwwwarsch! |  JoeCrow: "When I think of all the money I squandered on hookers" |  Jazzsoda: Jim Cordo, we've exposed your kiddie porn ring! What do you have to say to that? ("I'm going to Disneyland!") |  Hippie: Call your cable operator today and tell them to add the Calvin Klein Network. |
 Hippie: Okay, Gerald, I'll try it for you--but I'd better like this "Golden Shower" better than that Pearl Necklace you gave me! |  GuloGulo: "I envision an immense President Taft-style belly right here, hopefully within the next 2 years." |  GuloGulo: "Now my penis, on the other hand, will be of the more telephone-pole-like variety" |  Jazzsoda: I was skeptical at first, but to tell you the truth, those little chicano girls are dynamite in the sack! Wow-ee! Hubba hu- Wait a min, what's that camera for? |  Hippie: ...named Lucy Lopez, and this girl... son, let me tell you, you don't know sweet tail until you... back on? In 5? NOW?!?!? |
 GuloGulo: It's a good thing the Invisible Man has Invisible Semen, or this kind of smut wouldn't be able to be broadcast on the SciFi channel. |  Shifter: "Damn! Would ya just take a look at that sweet, sweet ass! It'd be like ridin' on a waterbed!" |  Artanas: "Well, you exam shows me that you're a bitter, sexless man....but i didn't need an exam to tell me that" |  Hippie: Hey, Jimmy... did the guys back in your hometown ever talk about... "reeming"? |  Jazzsoda: I tell ya, no respect. The lamp's got a better figure than my wife. I say "I been out Nightstalking" and she says "Lancelot filed a restraining order" I tell ya |
 JoeCrow: "Rodney Dangerfield prepares for his patented triple Lindy" |  Jazzsoda: Boy is this jerk gonna be surprised when my eyeball heat-rays cut his goddamn head in half. Yeah, that'll be sweet. Okay, any daaay now... |  Hippie: Oh, damn, Charles, I have a flat! Could you lift up the back of my jacket and pull the spare and the jack? I'll never make it home on this one. |  Shifter: "Son, could you fetch me the bicycle pump? I seem to be deflating again." |  rogeemoto: I've been blackballed! And I was a charter member! |
 Jazzsoda: If your new dirt devil attachment master doesn't suck like all hell, we'll give you your monkey back. |  GuloGulo: William Shatner costars with Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in the new wacky sequel, "Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest." |  Hippie: Watch out! Van Patten's gone mental! He thinks 8's way too f**kin' many! |  ZebehnDeGeustaah: Cash has taken a huge leap over credit ever since the government started putting nude pictures of the cast of "Friends" on currency. |  StickFigure: who's the lame white guy who strikes out with all the chicks......"DAVE!"..... damn right. |
 vak: heh heh. Like, they wrote the constitution on hemp, and, like, you can make rope and stuff from it. |  ZebehnDeGeustaah: "Cunni-what? Sometimes you talk crazy, woman." |  keogh: Karen contemplated. Stew for Thursday dinner as always, or was this the night she cooked the fuckin' cockatoo and told Bernie to go climb his thumb? |  GuloGulo: "Hmm, this must be where they toss the aborted cabbages." |  Jonesing: Hey, Brad, about this contract... "customers can lick my hairy sack" isn't an official legal term. |
 Shifter: Overheard at the Psychic Friends auditions: "Sorry, miss. That kind of grimace still falls within the realm of human possibility." |  WaffleKing: look, and I can even swim in it |  Ratel: It hurts him personally every time prices are slashed. |  GuloGulo: Brad finally owns up to his sordid past--one of the horribly exploited members of the Lobster Family, he spent his formative years as a circus freak. |  Occupant: Lesko, can your plan help my arms to grow to normal size? |
 Jazzsoda: This is IT people, we're through the looking glass! We're on the other side of history, looking back thr- OW! Hey, who threw that!! |  Juden: Instead of blood, the gunshot wound made chalk spurt from Mrs. Jones's head. |  bosko: Listen Mr. Krueger I don't care what your gonna do, You have the wrong number! |  Shifter: "And THIS is the sign by which they shall know thee!" |  Hippie: You think juicing's only for vegetarian wusses? Bullshit! Watch me juice up this pickled baloney into a mighty fine sippin' drink! |
 keogh: "Ooh, I'm hoping Sammy takes me to the prom...he's sooo dreamy!" |  Artanas: "Wow! That psychic was right, hooker and all!" |  ZebehnDeGeustaah: "Good evening, and welcome to Masterpiece Theatre. Tonight we present 'Death of a Salesman'...what the hell, is this some kind of joke?" |  Jonesing: "...I go to Lucy, she give me poosey, and take my five dollar away..." There, I did your request, now will you buy my program? |  Ratel: You can't see him in this shot, but their grandson Billy's the meat in a hog sandwich at the moment. |
 GuloGulo: Charlie Sheen was never caught with a hooker again after he found that vaporizer gun the aliens left behind. |  Hippie: Join the fun! Talk to Grimace! The Hamburgler! Mayor McCheese! |  Occupant: There I was, nailed to this enormous cross . . . |  Hippie: When he does that thing with the eyebrows he looks almost human! I can't stand hiding the tennis ball from him anymore! |  keogh: "Be right back. I'm just going to slip into something a little more...dowdy." |
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