keogh: (Quietly, through clenched teeth) "And send in your wallet. Nothing like the taste of liquid leather. I juiced my resume, and it was a bitter fruit, indeed."	GuloGulo: "Yog Sothoth, Yog Sothoth, Aiee! I offer the blood of the carrot!"	Artanas: Tired of her senseless banter, the Juiceman strikes down Jill with his split-fingered fastball...	Hobgoblin: He's thinking of his favorite phone-sex line. AGAIN.	Cerg: "My demon seed is within the child, heh...heh...heh"
rogeemoto: Roswell, starring Eartha Kitt!	Kalvyn: ARRGH! Universal remote, my ass!	Dono: "Let's ask the onboard Nerd Head..."	ZebehnDeGeustaah: "Hmm...it's still warm!"	Shifter: "Psst. M'wife's actually a guy. I know. I done 'er. Pass it on."
Unstoppable_Tibor: "I like to breastfeed kitty as my father breastfeeds me."	Shifter: "Puddy tats is nice. I like ta suck on puddy tat heads, but Pa says it ain't right. I like ta suck on Pa's head to, but he don't say nuthin."	Cerg: Yes, your whole family could die a slow gruesome debilitating horrible lingering death, all for want of a better kitty box. Listen to me, I look like a doctor.	GuloGulo: "Yes, we *all* know the discomfort, the itching and aching that comes with having worms. And worming yourself is such a pain! But not with the new WormAway!"	Occupant: What? Me worry?
Ratel: Another satisfied Lee Press-On Beard customer.	Psyko: Tranqued up and partied out, Jodie Foster plots the death of George Harrison.	ZebehnDeGeustaah: Ron knew that his patience would pay off. After 10 years and countless pedophilia charges, a grown woman finally falls on his lap.	Occupant: Yup, there it is. Mandatory fellatio. Damn fine print.	Hippie: I bet Jack Tripper never show you how to cut crystal meth, eh? You big time now, bee-otch!
Shifter: "Jeez, Doc, how long is this prostate exam going to take?"	steinmetz: boobs are what I crave. Your boobs I will have now. yes.Yours	ZebehnDeGeustaah: "So I figured I'd do a nice swan dive--impress the girls, right? Well, it turns out 'muff diving' isn't like regular diving."	TravisBickle: Damn, with each drink I take, I get hotter and hotter. I may have to take MYSELF home by night's end.	TravisBickle: Some bionic man. A few drinks and he passes right out. We have senators who will do that for less than six million dollars.
ZebehnDeGeustaah: "I made so much money, I bought a car that I never drive--I just rub my ass on it...mmm...yeah."	ZebehnDeGeustaah: "I'll never get tired of rubbing my ass on my Lexus! My wife is jealous, but if I try to rub my ass on her she runs away."	JoeCrow: The Benny Hill Show always ends the same way	GuloGulo: Note the exquisite sense of balance here--the bright lamp on our right, the luminous mutant pigs crapping Pledge onto the credenza to the left.	Psyko: "Yes, this will do nicely."
TWOWAYREFLECTION: I just wonder how many more days & nites I have to be chained to this toilet & listen to these gang rapes.	Jonesing: I'll Never Love This Way Again... it hurts my ass too much.	Dono: "Although he's gone, sometimes I can't help feeling that Harry is still with me...in spirit."	GuloGulo: "Hi, renters. I'm Carleton the landlord. Due to a burrito that has given me painful gas, I'm evicting you all as of this moment. The thugs will arrive soon."	Occupant: What we don't see is that this is the cover of "True Crime"
JoeCrow: No wonder Pryor ended up on fire	GuloGulo: To show us just how good life has been since he started consulting Psychic Friends, Gary Coleman shows us his new home. "I made it myself," he says.	Hippie: Kate Moss has made the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue!	TravisBickle: Jesus returns and isn't as nice as everyone thought. "Live and let live" suddenly turns into "Don't you fuckin' look at me."	Hippie: Order now and get Matt's first mediocre attempt at stand-up comedy. "Consumer protection laws... have you seen these? What is THAT about?"
Daleman: Louie Anderson's mom comes to identify the body.	Interociter: A young Cancerman teaches the Macarena to Billy Dee Williams and Jonathan Frakes.	GuloGulo: It's a little-known fact that in between "THX-1138" and "American Graffiti," George Lucas made a film that was a hybrid of the two.	Hippie: I created Star Wars! I was gonna call it "Dudes in Space"! Chewbacca was supposed to be a handpuppet!	Hippie: "R2-D2 was pocket portable! C-3PO was in drag! Darth Vader had an afro helmet!" Someone get a cyber cane!!!
Hippie: Bargain rather than fight? You are no jedi!	TomServo12: Another great photo from the hubble.	AgentQ: No, it's Rock Scissors Paper. I've got rock. What you're doing isn't an option.	Beedo: Hang on. Let me turn on the Nerf Turbo Football.	Hippie: He kept picking at it. Wouldn't give the Clearasil time to work... damn! I've seen a million cases like this... it never gets easier.
GuloGulo: Finally, a machine that works those hard-to-isolate "Funky Chicken" muscles.	GuloGulo: In a surprisingly avant-garde move, a filing cabinet is awarded the lead role.	Shifter: "Pardon me ma'am, I'm just going to ogle your breasts. Thank goodness this is the 50's so I don't even have to be subtle about it."	ZebehnDeGeustaah: Mentos starts selling their mints in one-kilo boxes, and redesigns their ad campaign to more appeal to the jaded, cynical youth of America.	Jazzsoda: No, honey, I'm serious. I don't think babies are meant to live off Southern Comfort. What's good for mama aint always good for baby.
Hippie: Okay, okay, you can lick the spoon this time... but don't tell your brother I let you!	AgentQ: We've got it all. We've got a litterbox, we've got a scooper to get rid of the ol' clumps, and we've got cute fuzzy bears to dance and laugh and sing.	Hippie: The surveillance photos of Mr. Gotti were ruined when a derelict Mr. Rogers drunkenly wandered through, talking to his friends in the "neighborhood"...	GuloGulo: Barry cuts loose with a wild version of "New York, New York," but luckily Joe's quilted vest absorbed the brunt of it.	Hippie: Yes, officer. Matt called and asked for all my credit card numbers. He said if I had the right one, I would win a prize.

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