Party Bus
by Dickie Torberg 

Vincent Van Gogh
where did you go?
If you’d have just waited for me
I’d have been your buddy.

We could have got sandwiches
and drove around in my van.
That would’ve been pretty fun,
sorry you missed it man.

Ernest Hemmingway,
you too guy.
I’m sure your shit got heavy
and made you want to write or cry.

But nothing a little Bicardi
couldn’t have made go down smoother,
and a heart to heart
or trip down to the strip club with me and Luthor.

Plus sometimes when you’re down
Playstation can be kind of fun.
That may sound silly but you’d be surprised.
That shit can cheer you up, son.

Sylvia Plath
you’re another one.
I know you were a chick and all
but we coulda been tight, not like you was a nun.

I should get a big bus or something
go back in time and round up all you sad fuckers.
That would be one rockin’ party bus
as long as you all weren’t depressed at once.

I guess it just goes to show
no matter how bad the fuss
you don’t know what’s right around the corner.
Could be me and Luthor in the party bus.

Too bad y’all fucked up and missed it.

Up, Up and Away
Hey how’d this goddamned bear get in here? Shit, I wish this beautiful balloon was bigger and had a closet to hide in or something. And a wet bar.

Ray Manatino’s Reworked Classics
Baa baa, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, what the fuck do you think I’m wearing here? Does this look like polyester to you?

Curses
I curse you with the spirit of Ralhallah, for charging me this late fee, Blockbuster. The one-eyed stare of Tulanjabi will seal the fate of thee, cock-buster.

Alphabet Soup
Anemic anteaters from Azerbaijan bounce from brassieres and bark at batons. Cold-water codfish cause cramps in the colon of a dark-dimpled debutante named Deborah Dedolin.