“GET UP!”
screamed the miter
(a miniature mote)
who’d grown up in the bottom
of the back of a boat.
“RISE!”
cried the tiny little segmented man
who’s hat was bright purple,
but his body was tan.
“HUZZAH!”
he repeated, at the top of his lungs
the very tip top,
so loud it rattled his bung.
“GOOD MORNING!”
he shouted.
“MOOD GORNING!”
he out-snouted
through the reverberant caverns of his nose
as he screamed and he scramped
and he ripped off his clothes.
“BRRRRRANT!”
on his bugle he bugled the note.
Then he honked out a ditty
that he’d recently wrote.
Into his mega he phoned
and he bellowed and moaned
as he screeched and he warbled
like a boy band on fire
and he pierced the sky with high notes
like a castrated choir.
He jumped and he leaped
as he stomped and he beeped,
making such a racket as to wake up the dead
who would wake with a ring and a buzz in their heads.
But even when threw a drum kit down the stairs
and gave untuned tubas to the back-country bears
and told the hyenas a side-splitting joke
and he banged on his gong till his gong-banger broke,
on his chalk board he screeched a quarry’s worth of chalk
and he gave the loud-talkers a license to talk
and he shoved a canoe through a tight leather shoe
and he told teenage girls they were bathing in poo
and he amplified a donkey to the power of six
and he beat the complainer at a game of pick-up sticks,
he alarmed an alarm
and he pantsed a school marm
and he dropped twelve ball bearings on an aluminum barn
and he crept into the pope’s bedroom and he screamed “DARN!”
still
Roofer McGoofer McGoo
slept
and he slept.
Goddamn dog.
Mouse in My House
The mouse in my house has the run of the land. He pees in my porridge and he shits in my hand while I lie sleeping, naively unaware that the mouse in my house is nibbling on my hair.
The Boy From Demon's Bay
LeCroy had some talents, he had quite a few, he could tell if the sun was lying or if the wind had the flu.
A Little Bit Hungry
A midget ate a pigeon and the pigeon ate a pig. If that seems odd remember that the pig was not that big. He was a bite-sized nugget, a toy pig as they say, one that would fit on a keychain should your inkling lean that way.
Scrumpletydumples
“Flippetyripples dapplety-giblets!” cried the elf-like thing. Pouncing on his footstool, he was dressed fit for a king. His sniveling little attendant was harshly reprimanded: “Dimplety-smackers… chalooga!” he so eloquently demanded.
Snuffles, Wonder Dog
The call to alert had come! Or perhaps it was a call to alarm, there’s a tricky subtle difference between the two that’s always been tough to nail down. But whichever it was, the phone was ringing! Snuffles sprang into an action pose with his patented super-sound: “SPRAAANG!”
The Story of the Unids
These teeny tiny people lived in a doll Tamara bought at the mall and when they came out to introduce themselves she thought they were fleas and sprayed the whole lot of them with an industrial de-lousing agent that really was chemically harsh and probably not something pregnant women should get within 50 yards of.
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