It speaks elegantly about you, yet barely whispers. That's right, Montana.
Birthplace of the most dramatic clock radio ever designed, and one of the
toughest riding mowers ever built. Like a small boy caught in the jaws of
war, like the locusts, like a noogie from your great-grandmother, Montana
just is. A focus of world concern, furnished in the style of Early American
in Salem maple, the pulse of sober life. The one-meal airline will whisk
you to this fabled land, then bite your head off like some kind of pissed-off
insect in a nature video. Early settlers discovered Montana by means of
sensitive tactile hairs. Damn, that's a tough act to follow.
Montana exists, if for no other reason, to remind us of this eternal
truth:
Ants have no ears at all.
You will drink a bottle of furniture polish, even though you're on a diet.
Try again later.
Milestones
the commune's scratch 'n sniff look at last year's office potluck
Opportunities
Pants a Capitalist
Free Virus Baggies
Take a Kitten, Please
the commune book selections
the commune's Bear in Rearview
the commune's Big Book of Duke
Faces of the commune
the commune 100: Leaders and Revolutionaries
the commune 100: Traitors and Noodledicks
FAQ Shwartz |
Site Map's Somewhere in the Glovebox |
Search In Vain |
Contract Ick
Privacy Police |
Terms of Gary Busey |
Reprints & Persimmons |
Press Eject Now
Fortune 6
I present to you, the King of throw-away island. Slicing a trench into the past, dogwoods spread their sprays like drifting clouds, the most wasteful member of the tree family.
Fortune 5
Growing up with snowflake, one learned to drink their sap in the morning.
Fortune 4
From mammoths to giant ground sloths, they buried caches of precious
materials-- radiocarbon, obsidian, jasper, Idaho and Anthony T. Bouldurian,
hundreds of miles from the Rosetta Stone.
Fortune 3
There she is, coincidentally, the prime-time "wrong with this picture"
barnstorming editor. Rich Galen. Disproportionate, particularly stark, India's timeless
tableaux.