Mistress Nancy New House Dominatrix Peniso first female to head up The House in its long and storied history. BYBONER CUNNINGHAM Washington, DC
RIP VAN BUEREN for the commune
Senator Orrin Hatch leading his usual gaggle of underage girls on a field trip to The House
At the notorious brothel in our nation’s capital known simply as The House,
there’s a new madam ready to crack the whip. Literally.
Taking over the reins from former Master David Boneya, Mistress Nancy Peniso
is the first female to head up The House in its long and storied history.
It’s a change that she says was a long time coming, much like many of the
clients.
“In today’s climate of pan-sexuality, it only makes sense that we have a
shared dynamic in heading up this bastion of pain and pleasure, you
insignificant little worm,” Peniso was quoted as saying through gritted
teeth. “Now lick my patent-leather boots until they shine, slave!” she added.
Citing The House’s beginnings as a strictly gay male club that specialized in
infantilism and fetishes, Peniso went on to say that “It’s about time some of
those tired old sissy-Marys get their come-uppance. We’re entering a new
century, and S&M is the new norm. Women have a role to play, and it isn’t
just as submissives tied to a rack for a little light whipping, or the
occasional use as a cigar humidor. From now on, these members of the old boy
network will have to beg Mistress’s permission to go sticking their tongues
into just any old orifice that happens to present itself.”
Former Master Boneya, who is moving on to become President and CEO of Glory
Hole Video Booths, Inc., was moved to tears in the ritual ceremony
relinquishing power to Mistress Nancy.
“This is one of the most – ow! -- pleasurable and – urf!! – painful days of
my life,” Boneya cried, assuming the classic submissive position and
receiving a thorough caning as he passed on the ceremonial whip, ball gag
and buttplug to the Mistress. “I hope she serves all you – ooooh! – slaves
and bitches well. Ow, Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!”
Visibly shaken, Boneya was then led away in leather restraints while Peniso
busied herself with a few hooded lobbyists and a red-hot branding iron.
“We’re going to lay down some laws now, boys,” she said with a twinkle in her
eye and an evil grin. “The House is in session!”
Boner Cunningham works both sides of the fence, but admits to a penchant for
young blonde females and overripe honeydew melons. His idol is Frank, the
Dennis Hopper character in “Blue Velvet,” who screamed “I’ll fuck anything
that moves!” Mr. Cunningham, however, does not necessarily require motion.
Milestones
the commune's scratch 'n sniff look at last year's office potluck
Opportunities
Pants a Capitalist
Free Virus Baggies
Take a Kitten, Please
the commune book selections
the commune's Bear in Rearview
the commune's Big Book of Duke
Faces of the commune
the commune 100: Leaders and Revolutionaries
the commune 100: Traitors and Noodledicks
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