Ahhh... the days of the wild frontier... ridin' horses into the dusty trails and roundin' up herds of wild 1-800 numbers.

Who would have thought that Kathy Lee designed dildos in her spare time?

Be sure to illustrate your manifesto with colorful cartoon characters. The bomb squad will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

"That's the one, officer, him, the turtle! He's the one who stole my shell!"

"Do you like to doodle, sketch, eat fish through a straw?"

I DON'T GET IT!

"Do you like to draw, sketch, doodle, doodle your diddle? Diddle your dolly? Dally your tallywhacker? Diddle your daddy?"

"Do you like to draw? Paint? Sketch?! DOODLE??! SCRIBBLE???!! SCRAWL???!!! I LIKE TO PAINT WITH VIRGIN BLOOD!!!"

"Do you want to sketch and doodle on my body, with a rusty pearing knife? Please Call! Someone, anyone, call!"

"Do you like to draw? Paint? Staple your nipples to the nearest streetlight?"

"And remember, I'm not only the president of the Art Institute, I'm also a nude model!"

"...and now, a demonstration on the art of penis puppetry. Remember folks, continue contributing to PBS for fine programming like this."

If you're like me, you're concerned with health care. You've also keep cotto salami in your underwear because, gosh it feels so good!

I DON'T GET IT!

"If you're like me then you know the joy of reading a good book. You also find tin foil provides pure chewing satisfaction."

"If you're like me, you're a private sort of person. You're also slowly falling in love with your Lara Croft action figure, ugly head be damned."

"If you're like me, you think that cubism is fascinating. You also like to French kiss envelopes to make sure that the glue gets nice 'n' moist."

If you're like me, you're concerned about your retirement. You also have the heads of twelve co-eds in your kitchen freezer.