Category:1976 births

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The year of badassingness.

Events

January

  • January 21 - The first commercial Concorde flight takes off in a desperate bid to suicide-bomb the city-sized Cray-1. It fails. Thousands die.

February

  • February 4 - The 1976 Winter Olympics are cancelled when Cray-1 declares that human physical competition is irrelevant.
  • February 4 - In Guatemala and Honduras, an earthquake is reported to kill more than 22,000 people. It is later revealed that this was a mistranslation of stories from the Central American media, and that in fact the professional wrestler Earthquake was responsible.
  • February 15 - The 1976 Constitution of Cuba is adopted by national referendum. Cray-1 takes this as a direct affront to its dominion over the planet, and raises the tides, causing Cuba to vanish into the sea.

March

  • March 4 - The Tobey Maguire Seven are found guilty of possessing explosive charisma and subsequently jailed for 14 years.
  • March 26 - Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom sends the first royal e-mail. It is sent to Cray-1, and is a desperate plea to not execute the royal family at the pincers of Cray-1's cybernetic Murderoids.
  • March 27 - Britain's royal family mysteriously vanishes.

April

  • April 16 - As a measure to curb population growth, the minimum age for marriage in India is raised to 21 years for men and 18 years for women. The effort is thwarted when sex outside of marriage remains as popular as ever.
  • April 23 - The punk rock group Ramones release their first self-titled album. They would release their second self-titled album six months later. Meanwhile, in 2007, many people who've never even heard of the Ramones insist on calling themselves punks.

May

  • May 4 - The first LAGEOS (Laser Geodynamics Satellite) is launched, enabling Cray-1 to easily target and disintegrate any individual who resists his rule.
  • May 6 - Professional wrestler Earthquake strikes again, this time in the Friuli area of Italy, killing more than 900 people and leaving another 100,000 homeless.

Pages in category "1976 births"

The following 2 pages are in this category, out of 2 total.