Difference between revisions of "AgentQ"

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{{capper|ImageName=Grover_super.jpg
 
{{capper|ImageName=Grover_super.jpg
  
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|RealName=Brian Reubelt.
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|RealName=Brian Reubelt
  
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|Birthday=Bicentennial baby.
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|Birthday=April 27
  
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|Occupation=At this point, I'm something of a career temp. Go on, ladies, make a line.
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|Occupation=Benefit analyst
  
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|MaritalInfo=I'm thirty and single. And if I've learned anything from movies, this means that any day now I should meet the love of my life by accidentally hitting her in the face with a door while exiting a restaurant. She'll have a loutish boyfriend and shrill parents, and all sorts of wacky complications will ensue, but ultimately true love will win out.
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|MaritalInfo=Single
  
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|Kids=None. My Godson is awesome, though. I'm still not sure how I became a Godfather, being an atheist and all.
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|Kids=Nope
  
 
|HandleOrigin=Oh dear. The less attention we pay to my lameass generic "I need a handle quick" handle, the better. If I'd known it would still be with me nearly ten years later, I'd have put something vaguely resembling a thought into it.
 
|HandleOrigin=Oh dear. The less attention we pay to my lameass generic "I need a handle quick" handle, the better. If I'd known it would still be with me nearly ten years later, I'd have put something vaguely resembling a thought into it.
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|AltHandles=I took to using BrianQ near the end of my time at Caption This. I'm not sure why; clearly my affection for my original handle is evident from my comments above.
 
|AltHandles=I took to using BrianQ near the end of my time at Caption This. I'm not sure why; clearly my affection for my original handle is evident from my comments above.
  
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|MyStuff=Was a frequent--at times too frequent--capper between 1997 and the early '00s. Currently part of the Saturday nightshift at IS. In the old days I had a tendency to exit the gallery with a showy, violent death. But dying takes a lot out of you, and I don't do that so often anymore.
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|MyStuff=Brian Poobelt (born August 18, 1827) is an [[American]] [[capper]], better known by the [[handle]] '''AgentQ''', and also as [[That Dipshit Over There]]. A [[Caption This]] veteran, he is currently a member of the [[Saturday Nightshift]]. Everything he touches dies, and his sexual perversions are legion. He hates it when other people edit his [[Wikipedia]] profile.
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==Background==
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A [[reincarnation]] of the divine [[Quetzalcoatl]] made flesh, AgentQ was born in a small wooden shack near a sexually active [[volcano]] in downtown [[Utah]]. His mother was not present at the time. His childhood was spent watching [[Masters Of The Universe]] and bludgeoning [[mole-rats]]. His first word was reportedly "[[Ombudsman]]." [http://www.avclub.com/content/node/55840]
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In second grade, AgentQ began an affair with his teacher, which was [[awesome]]. By eighth grade he'd lost his [[virginity]], but he called his friends for help and was able to find it again. Carl, I know you drank the last [[beer]], and if you don't fess up I will beat the living shit out of you.
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AgentQ's high school experience mirrored ''[[My So-Called Life]]'' exactly, right down to the [[red hair that wouldn't stay tucked behind the fucking ears]]. In college, he majored in not attending classes. By the time he graduated, he was as old as [[Dustin Hoffman]] in ''[[The Graduate]]''.
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==Captioneering==
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AgentQ began [[capping]] at an early age, by writing [[obscenities]] and crude [[innuendos]] underneath emotionally shattering [[newspaper photographs]]. Eventually, he learned what a [[computer]] was, and discovered a site related to the comedy series ''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' that allowed him to add [[snark]] to the digital world. Uniting with like-minded brethren, he proved how [[totally retarded]] he was. Yeah, you heard me. Eat shit. Love, [[Jazzsoda]].
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In his plentiful time on [[Caption This]] and later [[Inventing Situations]], AgentQ hasn't made any lasting contributions, and isn't nearly as funny as [[Sir_Fartsalot]], the [[badassingest]] [[capper]] around, whose [[thread]] "[[Hey, that's a turd!]]" set the capping world on fire in late 2006. You all know it. [http://www.hedonistica.com/images/2006/02/fart-light.jpg]
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AgentQ's whereabouts are currently unknown. He was last seen buying a shake at a [[White Castle]] in [[Kenosha]], Wisconsin. He is presumed dead, which was incidentally going to be the title of a planned sequel to ''[[Presumed Innocent]]'' that never got off the ground. Hey, that's a turd!
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==Videography==
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AgentQ has hosted numerous [[game shows]], the faggot, including the following:
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*''[[You Bet Your Ass]]''
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*''[[Press Your Luck Up Against The Glass, Yeah Like That, Oh, Baby]]''
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*''[[Love Conniption]]''
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*''[[Tic Tac D'oh]]''
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*''[[The Match Game]]''
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[[Category:1964 births|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Living people|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Air America Radio|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:American comedians|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:American film actors|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:American radio personalities|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:American television actors|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:American stand-up comedians|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:American vegetarians|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Comedians|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Feminist artists|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Irish-American actors|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Italian-American actors|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Law & Order actors|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:People from Sussex County, New Jersey|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Providence College alumni|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Saturday Night Live cast members|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:Seinfeld actors|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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[[Category:The West Wing actors|Garofalo, Janeane]]
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Since I have no online photos to post, I'll instead give you a few details and let you draw a magical picture in your mind. I'm 5'9", weigh about 190, tend towards darker-hued t-shirts and jeans, wear glasses, have a lovingly blow-dried head of thick brown hair, sport a beard, and have a long, jagged scar on my face that resulted from a swordfight between myself and Tim Roth's character in Rob Roy. One of these details may be entirely made up.
 
 
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Revision as of 05:33, 9 December 2006

Meet the Cappers

AgentQ
  • Handle: AgentQ
  • Real Name: Brian Reubelt
  • D.O.B.: April 27
  • Occupation: Benefit analyst
  • Marital Status: Single
  • Kids: Nope
  • Handle Origin: Oh dear. The less attention we pay to my lameass generic "I need a handle quick" handle, the better. If I'd known it would still be with me nearly ten years later, I'd have put something vaguely resembling a thought into it.
  • Alternate Handle(s): I took to using BrianQ near the end of my time at Caption This. I'm not sure why; clearly my affection for my original handle is evident from my comments above.
  • You Can Find Me Capping: I'll tell you later

Personal info

Brian Poobelt (born August 18, 1827) is an American capper, better known by the handle AgentQ, and also as That Dipshit Over There. A Caption This veteran, he is currently a member of the Saturday Nightshift. Everything he touches dies, and his sexual perversions are legion. He hates it when other people edit his Wikipedia profile.

Background

A reincarnation of the divine Quetzalcoatl made flesh, AgentQ was born in a small wooden shack near a sexually active volcano in downtown Utah. His mother was not present at the time. His childhood was spent watching Masters Of The Universe and bludgeoning mole-rats. His first word was reportedly "Ombudsman." [1]

In second grade, AgentQ began an affair with his teacher, which was awesome. By eighth grade he'd lost his virginity, but he called his friends for help and was able to find it again. Carl, I know you drank the last beer, and if you don't fess up I will beat the living shit out of you.

AgentQ's high school experience mirrored My So-Called Life exactly, right down to the red hair that wouldn't stay tucked behind the fucking ears. In college, he majored in not attending classes. By the time he graduated, he was as old as Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate.

Captioneering

AgentQ began capping at an early age, by writing obscenities and crude innuendos underneath emotionally shattering newspaper photographs. Eventually, he learned what a computer was, and discovered a site related to the comedy series Mystery Science Theater 3000 that allowed him to add snark to the digital world. Uniting with like-minded brethren, he proved how totally retarded he was. Yeah, you heard me. Eat shit. Love, Jazzsoda.

In his plentiful time on Caption This and later Inventing Situations, AgentQ hasn't made any lasting contributions, and isn't nearly as funny as Sir_Fartsalot, the badassingest capper around, whose thread "Hey, that's a turd!" set the capping world on fire in late 2006. You all know it. [2]

AgentQ's whereabouts are currently unknown. He was last seen buying a shake at a White Castle in Kenosha, Wisconsin. He is presumed dead, which was incidentally going to be the title of a planned sequel to Presumed Innocent that never got off the ground. Hey, that's a turd!

Videography

AgentQ has hosted numerous game shows, the faggot, including the following:

Links

Retrieved from "http://hipsoda.com/wiki/index.php?title=AgentQ&oldid=5253"