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| − | {{capper|ImageName=Madscientist.jpg | + | {{capper|ImageName=My_Dad_Lives_In_A_Downtown_Hotel.jpg |
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| − | |RealName=Brian R''[CLASSIFIED]'' | + | |RealName=Brian R***CLASSIFIED*** |
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| | |Birthday=A while ago | | |Birthday=A while ago |
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| | *Love Handle(s): Hey, fuck you | | *Love Handle(s): Hey, fuck you |
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| − | |MyStuff=I can only revise this field so many times, so right now I'm going to let guest author and professional mad scientist Doktor Zorloff (pictured) write the biography section. | + | |MyStuff=Hey, here's some repurposed comics I made for you. |
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| − | ==Biography== | + | ===Dilbert Tracy=== |
| | + | [[Image:Dilbert_Tracy.jpg]] |
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| − | This so-called "AgentQ" is evidently a "capper" of some kind.
| + | ===Cathy Revised=== |
| | + | [[Image:Cathy_Revised.jpg]] |
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| − | I have no knowledge of this "capping" activity, and do not care to learn. Instead, I have chosen to devote my time to SCIENCE. There are many fields of study that have been shunned or frowned upon by the so-called "establishment" because these so-called ''scientists'' have grown COMPLACENT. They no longer wish to ''explore'' the frontiers of knowledge. They are no longer ''concerned'' with scientific INQUIRY. These petulant fools feel that there is nothing new under the sun! That they know all there is to know! That WE HAVE SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED!
| + | ===The Wizard Of Fuck You=== |
| | + | [[Image:Wizard_Of_Fuck_You.jpg]] |
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| − | '''FOOLS!''' ''You'' threw me out of the academy in DISGRACE because I ''dared'' to CHALLENGE YOUR PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS! ''You'' said what I wanted to explore wasn't POSSIBLE! ''You'' said what I wanted to learn wasn't WORTH LEARNING! ''You'' said I was a failure! A nobody! An ''oaf!''
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| − | You said the world wasn't READY for sheep with human hands! And I say to you, you petty, insolent little weed, that perhaps the world should be MADE ready! That perhaps sheep with human hands are the next evolutionary step necessary for us to RISE UP AND CLAIM OUR RIGHTFUL PLACE AS TRUE RULERS AND MASTERS OF THE COSMOS! But ''no'', you say! Sheep with human hands is ''stupid'', you say! And to you I say, perhaps it is NOT stupid! Perhaps YOU are the one who is stupid! Yes, YOU, with your closed mind and your beady eyes and your stubble! You can't even GROW a beard, so I have no idea why you TRY!
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| − | My dream of sheep with human hands is not scientific theory, nor scientific possibility... it is SCIENTIFIC FACT! I have CREATED THEM! I have BRED THEM! With EACH OTHER, even! And because they have human hands, these sheep can CLIMB TREES! They can scale higher than ANY OTHER SHEEP BEFORE THEM! Do you not see the ''wonder?'' Do you not see the ''awesome majesty'' of my INNOVATIVE THINKING? Of ''course'' you don't! You don't see ANYTHING! ''EVER!'' Do you know why? Because ''I've just put your eyes out with my hypodermic needle!'' HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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| − | Sincerely,
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| − | Doktor Viktor Zorloff
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| − | Master-In-Chief, The Zorloff Institute
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| − | ==Things You Should Google==
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| − | Dinosaur Comics. A Softer World. The Sound Of Young America. The Pleasure Is Back (if it ever goes back up). Joe Mathlete's Great American Blog (if he ever starts writing it again). McSweeney's Internet Tendency. The Commune's Manifestos Of Fun.
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| − | ==A Hundred Video Clips That I Happen To Think Are Really Great==
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| − | Please note that some of these videos contain graphic violence, profanity, nudity and adult situations. These are not the sole reasons I like these clips, but they do help. So, yeah, they're not all work-safe. Then again, what the hell are you doing, watching videos at work? How do you get away with it? Can you tell me? Because I'd love to get away with it.
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| − | Another thing I'd love to get away with is theft. Just being able to go around, picking up whatever I wanted and keeping it. No consequences. If it happens to be your thing that I'm thieving, all you could do is complain. But I wouldn't care, because I'd be too busy complaining myself. I'd like to complain about the snow. We've been getting an awful lot of snow here in Milwaukee lately, and I'm getting pretty danged ''peeved off'' about it. And I don't care that that's not a real phrase. I just used it, and therefore it is real, because you see it before you, and seeing is believing, unless you're a Philip K Dick type who thinks that reality is a hallucination, in which case I say, try not to hallucinate me hitting you in the head with this chair.
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| − | So it's really snowy, right, and I'm in line at Chipotle's, because I live in Milwaukee as I stated in the previous paragraph and we wait ''in'' line rather than ''on'' line, because ''on'' line is when I'm hooked up to the Internet, okay? And there's this girl in line, and she's wearing sandals! There's fucking eight inches of snow outside and this chick's like, "Well, I'm really sick and tired of having toes, you know? I think I'm going to just freeze them until they fall off." So I go up to her and say, "Lady, that's a really passive-aggressive way to go about it, I mean, you should just chop them off with a meat cleaver," and she had the ''nerve'' to look at me like she didn't know what I was talking about!
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| − | That reminds me: video clips. There are a hundred of them. You've probably seen some of them before, but hopefully there are quite a few that you haven't. I am addressing the collective You here. They're all standard "clip" length except for the last five, which are... how shall I put it... episode-length. You'll need a DivX or DivX-clone to play a few of them, because DivX and/or DivX-clones are awesome. So why not take a gander at a clip, or two, or more? And feel free to stop on by every so often and click away for your daily dose of psychotronica and irreverence.
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhaveqRaxwI][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yedbPpAs00s&NR=1][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEVbALka6AU][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vohk2GS9WEw][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihTAMUwCqQY][http://www.archive.org/details/DateWoody2][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1emDgEQvFY][http://www.stage6.com/International-Facehuggers-Anonymous/video/1883924/Revolting-Cocks---Da-Ya-Think-I'm-Sexy][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp_PIjc2ga4][http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2222488847229465721&q=%22hey+you+%28what%27s+that+sound%29%22&total=8&start=0&num=100&so=0&type=search&plindex=1]
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOBDEhxd_WU][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkjTM4AfYdU][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hu6dgmxIFoQ][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z97eYZee4Xs][http://www.stage6.com/user/CSXAUSTIN/video/1110415/Windowlicker][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y02dL6qMCMA][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HEPUlW3yng][http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1a8vh_the-teddybearscobrastyle_creation][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WbdKJqr73c][http://www.stage6.com/user/pogoqueen/video/2128776/Skinny-Puppy---Protest]
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HucERcMMuys][http://www.stage6.com/user/kiara24/video/1916375/Rob-Zombie-Dragula][http://www.stage6.com/Only-House-Music/video/1588482/Brainbug---Nightmare][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVLpaiH2hbQ][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGO3H5AXDSM][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4avY9UfnqFY][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHuzen7S7q4][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnzVkEVcCXA][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cnOvMFnRvs][http://www.musicjesus.com/song_18926_My_Life_With_The_Thrill_Kill_Kult-Kooler_Than_Jesus.html]
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY][http://www.musicjesus.com/song_15215_Dirty_Sanchez-Really_Rich_Italian_Satanists.html][http://www.stage6.com/DARK-MUSIC-CHANNEL/video/1450658/KMFDM---Megalomaniac][http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x31nwb_vitalic-2004-my-friend-dario_music][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPZJYQXQsm8][http://www.superdeluxe.com/sd/contentDetail.do?id=D81F2344BF5AC7BBA540D9568F39ABA54772A01CACE8678E][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v922TFBrHFQ][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5TlbtF8Xss][http://www.stage6.com/user/PUNKsir/video/1620881/13th-Floor-Elevators-&%3bquot%3bYou're-Gonna-Miss-Me&%3bquot%3b][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzdPx6J6NEs]
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5cek8buuYw][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-By-Mujnc4][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WW7dmLbRVkk][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SWIPlgciSs][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hfQ5uIKrlw][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGUG81-S2ok][http://www.stage6.com/just-a-slaphappy-version-of-some-awesome-videos/video/1986674/black-keys---10-am-automatic][http://www.stage6.com/Reinventing-Hell-Whit/video/1873335/Eaagles-Of-Death-Metal-Only-Want-You][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTkblL_D5ZM][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Nx1ocgnd4A]
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3ONJzESj5M][http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=241228][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6NIJ5r448A][http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4871928688308423715&q=%22the+sonics%22&total=344&start=0&num=100&so=0&type=search&plindex=8][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQ7Fnbf_Vo][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAVaDxbqiZU][http://www.stage6.com/user/designer_girl/video/1498454/Jarvis-Cocker---don't-let-him-waste-your-time][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fpFAkl1THQ][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uUHxA6A624][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSdZ_yZP8bk]
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| − | [http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1556903&vid=143112][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a4gyJsY0mc][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFO-8ml52RU][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3bRxbkk3O4][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3UT-lM8usY][http://www.theonion.com/content/video/missing_girl_probably_raped][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnGlTQjBFpA][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jByYnKgl07k][http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20c09_heaven-17-crushed-by-the-wheels-of_music][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J1RQzz5NHk]
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru1RGfO-Npg][http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?artist=5549&vid=47110][http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?artist=1233057&vid=58944][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBXDavOyfEg][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQTD76XxJRE][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2coLzff_ar4][http://www.stage6.com/DARK-MUSIC-CHANNEL/video/1447777/Fields-Of-The-Nephilim---Preacherman][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YygyHCRrKho][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ol1BsHEOTAk][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuLt243AUKM]
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TFuv5_Q7pg][http://www.musicjesus.com/song_21679_The_Dresden_Dolls-Girl_Anachronism.html][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CST7XOxw4Dk][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZMwkDTONpM][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5GmJjYB3mc][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXTGd1Sab-w][http://www.stage6.com/user/thief2000/video/1299983/Chemical-Brothers---Hey-Boy-Hey-Girl][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMlX3aNzKnI][http://www.stage6.com/Goldis-Germanbox/video/1391674/Depeche-Mode---Never-Let-Me-Down-Again][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TssuSYrxVI]
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| − | [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mVofYhqMc0][http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid187769817?bclid=187744127&bctid=187759605][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sflKSSY9i5c][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY_Ylj87e3g][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSJz19iT6Sc][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBgRZkPyh2c][http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8078220981872692177&q=%22day+today%22&total=1677&start=0&num=100&so=0&type=search&plindex=1][http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-413074732061107247&q=%22brass+eye%22&total=196&start=0&num=100&so=0&type=search&plindex=1][http://www.surfthechannel.com/info/television/The_Mighty_Boosh/38485/S1E4.html][http://www.the-n.com/ntv/shows/ogrady/video/index.php?lineup=18579124]
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| | [[Category:1976 births|AgentQ]] | | [[Category:1976 births|AgentQ]] |
