AgentQ

Meet the Cappers

• Handle: AgentQ
• Real Name: Brian R[CLASSIFIED]
• D.O.B.: 1976
• Occupation: Yes
• Marital Status: False
• Kids: Where?
• Handle Origin: Indeed
• Alternate Handle(s): Not lately

• Love Handles: Hey, fuck you
• You Can Find Me Capping: I'll tell you later

Personal info

There are many things about me which are personal. I do not see why I should share these things with an internet community that could easily use such information against me. To think, I’ve considered some of you people my friends! You vicious, backstabbing betrayers. I hope you all burn.

Continue reading to find out more about me!

Background

At a very early age, I was born. I spent my childhood gradually growing larger and developing such skills as language and reasoning. I went through this weird phase where I was a teenager, but that passed. I am currently an adult.

Captioneering

I am a member of The Saturday Nightshift, an underground, alternative-comedy collective so obscure that we only play to an audience of ourselves. In this capacity, I have created such recurring gags as “Easily Distracted Man,” “NO NO WRONG NO BAD WRONG NO,” and “Preston Millarity, The Man In The Seersucker Suit Who Projectile Vomits Whenever He Sees An Image Of The Queen.”

I am sick to death of capping Darren McGavin.

Physical Characteristics

As a pure spirit entity, I have no physical characteristics. I access capping websites by “inhabiting” any nearby computer and manipulating the signal with telekimorphic powers that I learned from a wizened old guru who lived in the remote mountain region of Tiyakwiana. I’m telling you, that guy was a total hardcase. It’s like, you live in a magic mountain with a tribe of yetis and you wear a bathrobe all day –- lighten up!

Habitat

The Q Compound is located in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I can’t be any more specific than that because it’s supposed to be a secret base, and if I tell you then it’s not a secret anymore, and if there’s one thing I am good at, it is keeping secrets. Like that time I was talking to Hippie and he accidentally came out of the closet. Oh, what’s that? You never heard about that? SECRET KEPT!

Things You Should Totally Google

Dinosaur Comics. Joe Mathlete's Great American Blog (especially Marmaduke Explained and The Grone Protocol). The Church Of The Subgenius (especially The Hour Of Slack). The Pleasure Is Back. McSweeney's Internet Tendency. The Commune's Manifestos Of Fun. Bulldada Newsblog.

YouTube Links You Should Click On If You Want To Be Smothered By Awesomeness

forthcoming

Links

• My page at Jazzsoda's gallery