An Introduction

Ever since I threw this little page together and, more importantly I believe, ever since the search engines snaked their way on over here, I've been buried under a frightening mudslide of emails. Okay, mudslide is a strong word, it's been more akin to a couple of tumblers falling out of the kitchen cabinet, but none the less they've caught me off guard. Mostly because several have been critical. I never in my wildest dreams imagined anyone caring enough about any of this to take the time to write and tell me to go sit on it, eh. Somewhere, somehow, SOMEBODY got the idea that this page was supposed to have some real earth-shattering content to it, the secret of life and a link to a really great quiche recipe. I'm sorry, friends, you've made some kind of drunken wrong turn at Albuquerque and I don't have the answers you're looking for. This page is the rough equivalent of a Time Magazine "Man of the Year" issue dedicated to Don Lapre, with all the teeth blacked out and mustaches applied liberally via a snickering bic rollerball.

Don amuses me greatly, he's like a Muppet Show for adults. This page is a hasty little celebration of that amusement. If your dream is to make your fortune in the 1-900 business, more power to you. I wish you the best and hope a horde of horny Canadians stumble across your number. I've never been one to mock another person's honest dreams, I wish you great success.

I do, however, have a problem with the rash of "home business" get-rich-quick schemes that have popped up lately like wild mushrooms. Sure, they've always been there in one form or another but they really seem to be a national obsession as of late. And why not? How many people are really doing what they want to do with their life? And making the money they want to make? Not many people I know. So I can surely understand the allure of the whole shinny package.

Where does the problem come in? Are the systems all total scams? No. Sure, some are, but I think it's probably possible to make a some of these things work and to make money with them. The real problem is that they are greatly misrepresented during the sales pitch. None of these things are easy to do, they all require real work. And beyond that, they are *NOT* something "anybody" can do. This is one of the main bragging points all these systems claim, and it is a lie. That's where the real scam comes in. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to make them work, but there are a lot of personal variables involved... ranging from what kind of sacrifice you're willing to make to what kind of person you are to what your moral view is on the whole situation. These are all totally and completely glossed over in any sales pitch, and for good reason. I'm sure Don, Brad, Carleton and the rest make a good profit when you get involved with their systems and make them work, but they make a great deal more money from people who buy the system to appease some inner yearning they have to follow a dream, and who then find out they either can't make it work or really don't want to. After all, how many people really dream of operating a 1-900 line?

I have a problem with all this because in my eyes they're toying with people's dreams and raking in the money while they do it. None are focused on providing a real service or producing goods that people need or truly desire, nothing you can really sink your teeth into. Just an open dash for the dollar.

As I see it, the real way to get rich quick in the 90's is to sell get-rich-quick schemes to others. And I think it's fairly obvious to anyone that this kind of parasitic routine does not have a really bright future.

So, I've been asked, what is your solution? Well, to be honest, I didn't intend for this page to give anyone any answers, it was all meant just in fun. But it's still a fair question and it demands an answer. I know all too well what it's like to be stuck in a mindless, unfulfilling, draining job, as far too many people are. I have my own path to freedom mapped out, but it would be silly to recommend the same to others since every person is different. There is no one shining golden answer when there are so many different talents, aptitudes and interests floating around in the minds of mankind. I believe a day will come when there's no need for all this, when society will have evolved beyond the need for the bulk of it's population to flush away 40 (or more) hours of it's week simply to keep from starving. I believe a time will come when people are able to focus more on who they are inside and what life is to them rather than the everyday routine of keeping the machine running.

For now, I believe the best way out of the workaday trap is to take a good long look at what really interests you, what you love, what you enjoy. Not what makes the most money the fastest, but what you'd be the happiest doing that you can still get paid for. Look at people who have succeeded in this field. How'd they get to where they are? What sacrifices did they make? What did they bring to the venture? I don't believe that people are stupid or lazy, they've just been beaten down and haven't been encouraged enough to follow their dreams. I've never met a person who couldn't take that next step up, just a lot of people who didn't think they could. All the evidence and examples are lying out in front of you, it's just up to you to put two and two together and do something about it. Now listen to me, *I'm* even waiting for my pitch to come around and the 1-800 number to appear. But I don't have anything to sell, just the highest hopes for anyone who wants more out of life. And keep the emails coming, they've been very enriching. Enjoy the satire.




101

Cream Pie Takes




The Damning Trail of Evidence

Don's www.makingmoney.com site is back! And there was much rejoicing. Happy rubbernecking everyone, but these links are for entertainment purposes ONLY. If you get snookered into buying anything by following any of these, it's your own damn fault and you shouldn't be allowed to have your own checkbook. Don't you dare come crying to me.


Making Money Online

Don Lapre, Self-Made Multi-Millionaire??

Don Lapre's Money Making Package



Don's Puppeteers

Don Lapre's Poorly Articulated MEGATREND

Join the Don Lapre Success Team!
Fight Crime! Eat Nutritious Snacks!

Don Lapre Dances the Night Away on the Success Train!
Someone Derailed the Success Train! Bring Back the Success Train!

Apparently Don's Literature Includes the Story
of "Chicken Little". Beware of Falling Cash!



What's Really in Don's Package?

Book Thief Gerald Lapre
(*has* to be a relation)

An Analysis of Don the Moron-Robbing Fiend
Dammit! The Grinch Keeps Stealing My Good Lapre Links!

Don Lapre Lives For Quake
Number 449 with a Bullet!

Don Lapre Has a Fan Club!
alt.tv.infomercials.Don-LaPre.DIE.DIE.DIE

Placebos for the Hopeless



Don's Arch-Nemeses

William
"The Conqueror"
McCorkle
Updates!

Carleton "Suckerpunch"
Sheets

Matthew "Wouldn't
Know Info-Power if it
Bit Him on the Ass"
Lesko

Brad "Poolboy" Richdale


For even more scamming fun, check out the story of Marvin Wolf aka George Horn, aka Marvin Rowe, aka Marvin Rowz, aka Marvin Rosen, aka Marty Rosenthal, aka Marvin Rosenthal (I'm not making this up).