Biography
Omar Bricks hails from one of the richest families in all of New Jersey. His father worked in
the coal mines, scraping bats off the mule’s asses, and his mother worked there too,
scraping ticks off the bats’ asses. At a young age Omar knew he was different and he
dreamed of a bigger life, as a trunk deodorizer at the big car wash in neighboring Dumluk,
NJ. The fates were not on Omar’s side however, as he was sent to the University of South
Carolina on a Connect-Four scholarship instead. Omar took to University life as a wave
takes to water, earning a Masters of Journalism in record time. That’s what he says anyway,
all school records were lost when the entire school burnt down during a double-dare gone
bad when Omar attempted to jump a dog sled full of freshman biology majors and a harp
seal over 20 oil drums stacked end-to-end in front of the dean’s residence. After the grand
jury hearing, Omar opted to study abroad. Not much is known about Omar’s years outside
the country, the only thing that’s for certain is that he came back with a wicked tattoo of a
wicker chair on the back of one of his calves. After trying his hand as a door-to-door
asbestos salesman, Omar started sneaking into the commune offices dressed in a suit he
found discarded on a rack in a locked coat closet at a country club. Everyone assumed he
worked here, and before long, Omar was collecting a paycheck. He probably would have
been found out eventually if it weren't for the fact that most of the commune staff got their
jobs the same way.