The first possible biography states that Rokwell T. Finger was born in Rhode Island before it was settled and grew up, very slowly over a couple centuries, living as average and dull an American life as could spawn the likes of him. Though he is only 60 years old clinically, respected doctors say he has no beginning and no end, not that you can prove, smart guy.
The second possible biography is that Rokwell T. Finger was assembled from a pre-fab kit and talks of “childhood” are mannish boasting rituals with no ground in reality. Whoever purchased him then collected the entire set of wife, house, cat, and various kids who he sometimes recalls.
Rok’s history in journalism dates back to writing the game description on the back of Mystery Date by Parker Brothers. He has worked for Time, The Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, “Good Times,” and Morris Day and the Time, all coincidentally as a hatrack. He studied journalism during lunch a few years ago and has been writing for the commune since its web inception in 1999, though Rok is convinced it goes back further than that. He has never read his own words in print for he fears it will steal his soul, as well as his pocket watch.