Professor Gubenstuuker comes to us from Brazil, although West German ties have been brought to light by several groups of Nazi War Criminal Hunters, none have as yet, been proven. Professor Gubenstuuker has among others, degrees in Genetic Alteration, Gene Splicing and Cryogenics.

The loss of his left hand seems more of an asset than a handicap and the Professor has been known to change "appliances" in mid-lecture. Although his favorite, "the claw" has won him his endearing nickname.

Charged with keeping student behavior in strict accordance with campus policy, the Professor keeps an ever watchful eye on the student body. He is best known for the "Professor Von Gubenstuuker Memorial Shower Room" which will be in operation as early as this semester and "The Great Wall" still under construction around the campus. Work has been delayed several times, once due to a lack of constantina wire and on another (still unresolved) matter with the Public Utilities Commission and their inability to provide a constant 440 volt power supply to the existing fence.