lastissue='2005/0307/';
lastissuehead='Martha Stewart Tagged, Released Into Wild';
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thisissue='Monday, March 14, 2005';
nextissue='March 21st, 2005';
rate1='Everybody Loves Racism';
score1='947,101';
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rate2='It’s Already in Your Lungs';
score2='444,443';
rlink2='poet';
rate3='Diary of a Mad Bootblack';
score3='991';
rlink3='dreck';
rate4='12,000 Grade School Kids Singing “Some Like it Hot”';
score4='10';
rlink4='police';
rate5='Fun is Overrated';
score5='1';
rlink5='bagel';
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cookie='Don’t be so hard on yourself, we all know mama told you not to come, but it ain’t so easy when the bitch got titties til’ Tuesday.';
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story3name='bolton';
story3head='Bush Nominates Bolton as U.N. Ambassador';
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