Monday, December 23, 2002
Listen up, Billy Olson
I知 a drink you up like Molson
make you sing like a fat Al Jolson
grab your tits and milk 粗m both, son.

舛ause you messed
with the best
I confess
it痴 no test
I am the real thing
you will know the hurt I bring
forget this skirt, I am the King
of your pudgy white ass
they値l put your cheeks in a cast
for six to eight weeks
and the chicks who hate geeks
will know your ass reeks
祖ause you can稚 wash it
I知 a squash it
and I値l pound it to dough
When will I stop? I don稚 know
and neither will you
they値l have to put in a screw
to keep your ass from falling out your pants
when you dance
and at a glance
you値l look like Grimace in Dockers
and subliminal shockers
will spill from your sputtering lips
while I beat you to fish and chips
like your mom got it on with a Panda bear
and your big brother blows his nose in your hair.

I知 a hurt you
make your parents desert you
like they wish that they could do
like they know that they should do
like a stinky no-good shoe, shit.

I知 gonna be on you like yellow on Twinkie
I値l snap your neck with my pinkie
I値l crap your deck while I知 drinking
a Capri Sun filled with kerosene
then I値l piss on you, 祖ause I知 that mean
and set you on fire for Halloween.
You値l know it痴 no joke
when your nose is broke
and I suppose I値l choke
you and take your toes to smoke
too and your clothes will soak through
when blood flows I値l poke you
then God knows you値l croak too.

舛ause your ass is grass
and I知 the ass-wiper
I知 hyper
I wear you like a shit-on diaper
I知 crazy like the beltway sniper
fucked up times three on crack
croaked in a bathroom heart attack...
They値l find you in a burlap sack.

Bitch, I want my lunch money back.

Thug Life
Go on, girls, keep on giggling, about the time I got kicked out of the cafeteria for sneaking a second helping. That痴 a good way to get your tits kicked in.

Spastic Gastric Function
The earth cries, the French fries have eyes and legs. Holy shit McDonalds on acid! There痴 a tarantula with Velcro knees, George Bush honking on the Japanese.

The Spell of My Love
T is for the time we spend, each day like a minute going too fast; H is for the heart I give, for the love inside I have gladly amassed.

TV Repair
Fat patterns pulsing in stitches of static, erratic and plastic, the spastic display. With a bang and a kick and a "cheap motherfucker!" an emergency side-slapping repair is performed.