Chapter Eleven
By Amon
"..And that's the way the vision ended," SpydieGirl said, leaning
back in the big red comfy chair.
"Hmm. very interesting," said Rich Filthy, her manager. "You know
what I think? I think you're getting a little stressed. I think you
need a nice vacation away from civilization. And I know the perfect
place." He suddenly burst out in a fit of evil laughter.
"Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! MWA_ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. HA!"
"Umm, what's so funny, Rich?" Spydie asked.
"Oh, umm. nothing," Rich Filthy said, composing himself. "I was
just thinking of a Family Circus cartoon I saw earlier. That Billy.
Cracks me up every time."
"Oh," said SpydieGirl. "So, tell me about this place you have in
mind."
"OK. Just a second while I reflect for the readers at home."
*Rich Filthy reflected upon how he found out about the island that
the evil genius Glitterroch had created. He had been an alternate,
seeing as how he was the twenty-first richest person in the world.
Rich Filthy was a band manager/oil magnate/day trader/Amway salesman.
The eighteenth richest person was unable to fulfill his duties,
therefore, Rich Filthy moved up to the twentieth position. And THAT
is how he found out about the evil genius Glitterroch and his island.*
"All right. I'm done reflecting. The place I was talking about is an
island out in the Pacific Ocean. It's a quaint little place. Whatta
ya say?"
"Well, it sounds good to me. When do I leave for this island
paradise?"
"Well, I have a plane right outside. No time like the present, right?"
Spydie walked out to the small Cessna airplane that waited for her.
As she boarded the plane, the pilot handed her a Coke. *That's weird*
she thought to herself. Before long, she found herself flying over
the Pacific Ocean. With a Coke in her hand.
"We're almost there," the pilot called over the engines. "I'm
supposed to give you a few things. Here." He tossed an umbrella, a
small bag and an aerosol can to her.
"What's this stuff?" she asked.
"Well, the umbrella is for you because I forgot a parachute. The bag
is a change of clothes and a ukulele, and the aerosol can is Bat-
Shark Repellant," he answered. "Oh, and I got some bad news and some
worse news. The bad news is that I can't drop you off on the island."
"Why not? And I play guitar. What's with a ukulele?" Spydie asked, a
puzzled look on her face.
"A guitar won't fit in that bag. As for dropping you off, I don't
know. I'm just a minor character, and I don't have to know things
like that. The worse news is that since I can't drop you off on the
island, I am going to have to drop you off in the heavily shark-
infested waters about thirty miles away from the island. But when
you're in the water, don't swim anywhere. Just stay there. The island
is on its way toward you. It should get there in about ten minutes.
When it gets there, remember to jump, or you'll get squashed. Got all
that?"
"I guess I know what the shark repellant and the change of clothes
are for now." She gathered her things, and made her way toward the
airplane's hatch. "You know," she hollered over the rush of air, "for
a minor character, you sure have a lot of lines." And with that, she
jumped out of the plane and opened the umbrella, and slowly descended
to the water's surface, drinking her Coke on the way down.
*Back on Glitterroch's Isle*
Dr. Xigeous listened with feigned interest as Glitterroch and the
First Lady finished their tale of world domination. "You know," he
said after a yawn, "you're not the only creative genius." He stood
up, reached in his pocket and tossed Glitterroch a pair of glasses.
"Rubber nose and glasses?" Glitterroch asked curiously. "Ah hate tu
tell you thisss, Dr., but ah due believe that these have already been
invented."
"No, no, try them on," Xigeous urged.
Glitterroch slipped the glasses on, picked up the cigar that Xigeous
had conveniently placed on the table by him, and turned toward his
guests. "Well, well, well, Mr. Gray! I'm surprised your mother lets
you out of the house with no underwear!"
Gray crossed his legs, not wanting to attract any more attention to
himself.
*Oh, shit* Lianna thought.
"And Miss Lianna," he said, wiggling the cigar in front of him, "X-
Men Underoos? That is a *very* interesting look."
He then turned toward Lanzanelli. "And Mr. Lanz. Those are the
doitiest underwear I ever seen!"
Lanz looked sheepishly at his comrades as they slowly pushed their
seats away.
Glitterroch took off the glasses, and turned back toward
Xigeous. "Ah'm amazed!" he exclaimed.
"Amazed, I'll say," Dale Damann followed.
"What can I say, I'm amazed!" finished Enapov.
"I call them XIG-glasses. X-ray Imitating Groucho-glasses," Xigeous
said, retrieving the glasses. "I still haven't found a practical use
for them, though. So, what do you think? Think I could help you out
on your plan to conquer the world?"
"NO!" Glitterroch, Dale, Enapov, the First Lady and all her security
guards called out in unison.
*Meanwhile, IN the Pacific Ocean*
"OK, here it comes. Get ready, and. JUMP!" Spydie found herself
sprawled on the beach. She got up, and brushed the sand off. "Look at
this! I'm soaked! It's a good thing I got this change of clothes."
Spydie grabbed hold of her t-shirt and pulled
---EDITED FOR TELEVISION---
it down over her wiast. "That's much better. Nothing like dry clothes
after a swim in the ocean." She picked up the ukulele, and after
tuning it, started walking down a path, singing. "There's a little
grass shack, sitting by the water. A little grass shack."
*In Glitterroch's board room*
Gray thought about what he had heard with the First Lady. *No, this
can't be her,* he thought to himself. *Everyone knows that she has no
political ambition.*
"Well, Mrs. Clinton, ah think it iss about tom to poot Plan Two into
action, don't ye agree?" asked Glitterroch.
"Yes. With me on your side, you will have nothing to fear," she said,
and turned and left.
*Brief pause to allow the First Lady to leave the stronghold*
"I've never heard of you before, Mr. Glitterroch," Lianna finally
said. "And I pride myself on knowing things like this. How is it that
I have never heard of you before?"
"Well, ye see, Lass, it's lach this." He stood up and reached to the
back of his head, and grabbed at a piece of velcro. "It's because ah
em not Glitterroch. Ah em really. Amon! Ha-HA! Fooled you!"
"Wait a minute," Dale said, standing up. "Are you trying to tell me
that you are really Amon?! Well, I don't believe it. Why? Because *I*
am Amon!" he said, pulling his mask off.
"Oh no you're not. Everyone knows that no one can play Clare de Lune
like Amon!" she exclaimed, pulling her mask off to reveal that she,
too, was Amon.
"OK. This is getting ridiculous!" Lanzman said. "There is no way that
you can ALL be Amon. Because *I* am!" He, too, pulled off his mask.
Xigeous, Lianna and Gray turned and looked at each other. Shrugging,
they pulled the masks off their heads, revealing that they were also
Amon.
Cyberbeast looked down from his precarious position, checking out the
plethera of Amons in the room. "One Amon, two Amons, three Amons
four. Five Amons, six Amons, seven Amons more!" he sang to himself.
It was at this point that SpydieGirl entered the room. *She had found
the elevator and took it to the main deck. Offstage, of course.*
"I
don't think this is the vaction I planned on," she said to herself,
looking at all the Amons in the room.
"Well, THIS is certainly odd," the Amon formerly known as Glitterroch
finally said. "We can't ALL be Amon." He reached behind his head, and
found another velcro strap, and pulled off the Amon mask, to become
Glitterroch again. "Ach! All right, everyone, tra tu pool the Amon
mask off of yoo." He watched as all the Amons pulled their masks off,
revealing them to be who they were when they first entered the room.
All except Lianna.
"So, Lianna. Oor shood ah call yoo Amon!"
"Not so fast, Glitterroch. Everyone knows that Amon wouldn't be
caught dead in X-Men Underoos!" she said triumphantly, pulling the
mask off her head.
"Well, that was certainly strange," Lanz finally said. "That was like
some pathetic plea for attention or something."
Cyberbeast looked down at the scene that just happened. "That was
strange," he said to himself. He glanced up to check out his grip,
and saw a spider. Letting out a whimper, he pulled his hand away and
fell on the table in the room, his 600 pound metallic body smashing
the table to splinters.
"Well, pardon the cliché'd line, but thanks for dropping in!"
Enapov called out.
Cyberbeast got up and brushed himself off, pulling splinters out of
his skin.
Just then, a shout rang from one of the other rooms.
"FREEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!"
"That sounded like Buck!" Spydie shouted. As the group broke into a
run towards the sound of the voice, she cracked, "It's either him
or William Wallace, I can't tell. But I'm pretty sure Buck
isn't Scottish!"
*These damn visions* she thought to herself. *I'd sure like to know
what the volleyball game had to do with this, though.*
********
What could have caused Buck to cry out like that?
What is the First Lady's dastardly plan to help Glitterroch control
the world?
What does Spydie's vision of playing volleyball with Gray's underwear
mean?
And just what exactly is Aileen Quinn up to?
All these questions will be answered in the next thrill-packed
chapter. Or not.
